


The Very Touch Of You

by Winglesss



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Dean Winchester, M/M, One Shot Collection, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Top Castiel, Top Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2019-10-29 17:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17812685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winglesss/pseuds/Winglesss
Summary: When Castiel first laid a hand on you he was lostThis is a collection of smutty ficlets originally posted on mytumblr. You can find the sfw counterparthere.





	1. Slow

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the chapter summary for more info and additional tags for each story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU, unspecified age difference, bottom!Dean, strong Dom!Cas vibes, crying  
> Originally posted here

Dean is so beautiful, so delicate, so  _young._  He would protest to be called inexperienced because he had a lot of sex with both girls and boys, but Castiel knows it’s all been just hurried, graceless chasing of quick relief. That’s why he takes it upon himself to show Dean the finer art of lovemaking, to teach him about delayed gratification.

“Slow,” he orders when Dean, straddling him, guides his cock to his slick loosened hole. Cas has taken his time to prepare his boy, to stretch him open nice and slow, as well as to shower Dean with praise and soft touches. It made the younger man squirm and plead, but when he was told to stay still, he tried his best like the good boy he is.

Now he makes a disgruntled noise but obeys anyway. Biting his lower lip he stops when just Castiel’s cockhead breaches his rim.

“Good,” Castiel purrs and rubbing Dean’s thighs gently, he gives him an encouraging nod.

Dean starts to lower himself on Castiel’s cock as slow as possible, eyes squeezed shut, soft moans escaping his mouth. Castiel knows this way Dean can feel every inch of him sliding in, can savor the glide of skin against skin, to experience fully the feeling of being stretched, of his body welcoming Castiel, accommodating him.

Dean’s breath is labored, his muscles strained, when he shifts his hips, changing the angle so he can take the last of Cas in and seat himself fully in his lap.

Cas’ hands slide up Dean’s sides, patting him soothingly. “That’s it, so good,” he praises in a low voice.

“Cas,” Dean half-sobs. It’s too much for him, he’s overwhelmed by all the sensation and the unfamiliar emotional charge.

“I’ve got you, Dean,” Cas murmurs as he cups the back of Dean’s neck and pulls him down for a kiss. He brushes his lips against Dean’s lightly, a gentle comforting touch. Then he licks into his mouth swallowing Dean’s moans.

“Please,” Dean whispers as Cas rakes his hand through his hair.

“Slow,” Cas reminds him and with firm hands on Dean’s hips he guides him to roll his hips.

The moment Cas grazes against Dean’s prostate, Dean throws his head back with a groan. Castiel can feel his urge to bounce wildly, to chase his orgasm. He tightens his grip and says Dean’s name in a voice that makes Dean immediately get a grip on himself and look Cas in the eyes.

He moves again, this time finding a slow rhythm, moving his body in languid waves.

Castiel’s voice is a deep rumble as he rewards Dean with a constant stream of praise.

_So good_

_So beautiful_

_Perfect for me_

_Just like that_

_Good boy_

_I love you so much, Dean_

Dean’s leaning down, propped against Castiel’s chest, his eyes fixed on Cas’ lips, drinking every word in.

“Please, Cas,” he moans when his rhythm stumbles when the growing warmth coiling in his belly gets too much.

Castiel hushes him with a soft kiss. He wraps his arms around him, pressing Dean closely against his chest and starts to thrust up into him, hard but unhurried. Dean whines into the crook of his neck, his neglected cock now trapped between their bellies leaking a steady stream of precome.

“Not yet,” he says breathlessly into Dean’s ear.

“Hold on, Dean, hold on for me,” he whispers as Dean mumbles incoherently against his shoulder, nails digging into the skin of Castiel’s shoulders.

Only when he feels his nerves buzzing with a fast approaching orgasm, does Castiel kiss Dean and breathe into his mouth.

“Come for me.”

Dean does so with a broken cry of Castiel’s name, his whole body shaking with small spasms as the tide of pleasure washes over him. The clench of his muscles around Cas makes the older man follow right after. Grunting, he pumps his seed deep into Dean.

Panting, Dean collapses on Castiel’s chest, then slips off his lap and curls by his side.

Reluctantly Cas gets up to wipe his belly covered with still warm come.

When he turns back to Dean, he notices the boy’s shoulders shaking as he sniffles into a pillow.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” he asks agitated, pulling at Dean’s shoulder to make him roll over.

Dean immediately wraps himself around his lover, craving the warmth of another body, the safety of Castiel’s embrace.

Hot tears fall on Castiel’s neck, making his heart clench with concern.

“I didn’t know it could be like this,” Dean sobs. “It was never like this.”

Castiel lets out a relieved sigh and hugs Dean tighter, petting his sweat-damp hair.

“I love you,” Dean whispers. “I love you, I love you,” he repeats until his tears dry off.

 


	2. Want you to want me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Can you please write a possessive Cas fic? Like Dean is talking to someone boy/girl and it gets on Cas’ nerves? Fluff and smut please
> 
> Canon!verse, first time, mutual masturbation
> 
> [Originally posted here](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/182692146013/crazy-sad-potatoe84-replied-to-your-post-i-m-back)

It takes Dean some time to notice, but when he thinks about it, it must have started right after their first kiss. The desperate rushed kiss that ended as abruptly as it started and that they both pretend never happened.

He would be talking to a witness, sweet-talking them into spilling important information and then… there would be a strange look in their eyes and they’d completely shut off. Once, he notices a guy looking over Dean’s shoulder with fear before stuttering some excuse and leaving before Dean’s able to get anything out of him. Dean turns but all he sees is Cas going through some paperwork.

It takes a few more days for Dean to make the connection.

A pretty waitress is presenting today’s special to him in a flirty way that Dean doesn’t think anything of because he knows she’s just doing it because it sells. He reacts in the same way though because there’s no hurt in it. He hears the squeal of the chair against the floor as Cas moves closer, their shoulders brushing.

“Thank you, but he can’t get that, he needs to watch his cholesterol,” he says in a tone that makes the waitress huff as her eyes swing from Dean to Cas and back. She’s still smiling but all the coquetry is gone.

“What the hell, Cas?” Dean barks when she leaves. Cas shrugs with a smug expression on his face.

“It’s true.”

The cute cashier leans a little too close over the register and his fingers brush against Dean’s as he hands him the change. Suddenly there’s Cas’ palm warm and heavy on Dean’s shoulder and a growled “Let’s go,” in Dean’s ear.

Dean might be slow sometimes, but he’s not stupid, he knows what’s going on here. Or at least he thinks he knows. He decides to do an experiment that would prove his theory.  

The opportunity presents itself a few days later. The guy at the pool table is checking Dean out from the moment he enters the pub. Cas is too distracted by discussing some nerdy stuff with Sam to notice so Dean grabs his beer and approaches the guy.

He doesn’t want to get into his pants but he acts as if he does. He starts with commenting on his game, challenging him then proceeds to plainly show off. It certainly works on the guy but it’s not Dean’s real goal.

He’s leaning close to the man when he hears approaching steps and he smiles secretly.

“Go away,” Cas’ voice is deep and almost as scary as if he was in his true form. The guy straightens up and looks at him with no fear but annoyance.

“What the hell, dude? Mind your business.”

“That’s what I’m doing,” Cas growls before he grabs the cue and yanks it out of his hands. “I said go away.”

This time the guys’ eyes widen and he takes a step back. He shoots Dean a questioning look, but Dean’s too busy staring at Cas’ stern expression - his clenched jaw, his squared shoulders.

The moment the stranger leaves, Cas turns towards the pool table and gives the balls a measuring look.

“You know how to play?” Dean asks, his voice a bit breathy.

“It’s physics. I know physics,” with that he leans over and delivers all the balls to the right holes with precision. Dean stares at him with awe.

Cas straightens up, his face has turned from angry to smug.

“I won, we can leave.”

Dean’s so shellshocked that he lets himself be led out of the bar. They almost arrive at the car when Dean digs his heels into the ground and makes Cas stop.

“What was all that about?” he asks.

Cas squints at him, playing oblivious.

“That show you performed inside. What was it about? It looked like you’re… you’re…” He’s pretty much certain he’s right by now, but the word still stucks in his throat, it still feels absurd.

“Like I’m what?” Cas says stepping into Dean’s personal space making the lump in Dean’s throat only grow bigger.

“Jealous,” Dean finally breathes out.

Cas doesn’t respond. His eyes roam over Dean’s face, stopping on his lips for a little too long. Dean’s heart is beating painfully hard.

“Maybe I am,” Cas says as his eyes meet Dean’s. Dean’s heart stops. “Maybe I don’t want you flirting with anyone.”

“Why?” it’s barely more than an exhale.

“Because I want you to only want me.”

Dean exhales, eyes squeezing shut. He can’t believe this is happening.

“And you, you want me?” he asks, voice strained. There’s a torturous pause. Dean only opens his eyes when he feels Cas’ hands on him. He’s pressed against a wall before he can even think about any resistance.

“Of course I want you, Dean.” His voice is rough like cheap whiskey and sweet like honey and his breath is hot on Dean’s face. “I want you in every way. I want to hold you as you fall asleep, I want to kiss you, touch you. I want to feel you from the inside, I want to feel you inside me.”

Dean swallows. “Cas-”

“I wanted it before but ever since the kiss… I can’t think of anything else, but you…”

“I’ve been flirting with other people like an asshole.”

Cas lets out a breath and takes a step back. “I know I don’t have any right to act… possessive. Of course, you can flirt with anyone you want, we’re not even… the kiss… I realize it didn’t mean the same for you as it did for me.” He stares at the pavement as he speaks and he looks small. The confidence he emanated just a minute ago that got Dean’s blood boiling is gone. And it’s Dean’s fault because he’s a fucking dumbass.

He steps forward and gingerly places his palm to Cas’ cheek. Cas looks up. The beauty of his eyes strikes Dean with the same force it did when he first saw him. Dean tends to forget that he’s a celestial being, but when he looks in his eyes, he’s always reminded.

“It did,” he whispers. “The kiss meant… it changed things for me too, I just… I’m a coward, Cas. I’m not good at romantic feelings.”

Cas huffs out a small laugh, his breath tickles Dean’s lips. “You? You flirt so easily, you can seduce anyone you want.”

Dean feels his lips curl into a lopsided smile. “Yeah, that’s easy. It’s not feelings, it’s not like… this.” He brushes his thumb against Cas’ cheek and the angel’s eyes flutter shut.

Dean leans in.

It’s not like the first time. It’s not desperate and hurried. This time it’s just a soft brush of lips before Cas presses against him harder making their lips fit perfectly. They part to take a breath and then they’re kissing again, deeper but still so soft Dean feels like his legs are melting. He has to grab Cas’ coat for balance.

“I want you,” he mutters against Cas’ lips realizing he hasn’t said it yet. “I want you, Cas, just you in… in all the ways you listed,” he adds feeling the blood warming his cheeks and ears.

“I’m quite sure Sam won’t be coming to your room anytime soon by the way he was talking to the bartender.”

“Yeah, our room then, that’s a good idea,” Dean says a bit distractedly thanks to Cas’ lips on his neck.

Dean’s not the one to get cold feet but as he told Cas earlier - this is not a regular hook up. So by the time they make it to the motel room, Dean is overwhelmed by nerves.

The click of the lock makes his chest constrict. He turns to find Cas in his personal space. He instinctively grabs the lapels of Cas’ trench coat and notices his hands are shaking.

“What the hell are we doing, Cas?” he asks, unable to look Cas in the eyes.

“What we should have done years ago.”

Dean’s eyes shoot up to meet Cas’ calm gaze.

“Dean, ever since I raised you from hell, you were very special to me. And over the years, our bond, our  _profound_  bond only grew. It surpassed friendship a long time ago.”

Dean doesn’t respond, he can’t speak over the frantic beating of his heart. Cas frowns.

“You don’t feel the same?”

“I do, Cas, damn it, I do but… why? Why haven’t you said anything? Do anything?”

Cas huffs out a mirthless laugh, his eyelashes flutter. “Because there was always something going on, the world was ending, one or both of us were pushed to do desperate things, there were secrets between us, it just… I never thought it would work. Even though I desperately wanted it.”

Dean sighs and presses his forehead against Castiel’s.

“What changed now? It’s not like our life is a walk in the park now.”

“It was the kiss, I… I kissed you because I thought I’d lose you again and I couldn’t just…” his voice hitches with emotion, but Dean doesn’t need him to say more. He kisses the unspoken words off Cas’ mouth and pushes his coat off his shoulders.

They get on the bed wearing just underwear and shirts, but they soon shed them too. It’s strange seeing Cas like this, stranger being able to touch him. But once Dean starts, he seems unable to stop. He wants to learn every crook and cranny of Cas’ body. He kisses the little mole over his nipple and on his belly and runs his tongue over the Enochian tattoo on his ribs, he brushes his lips against the stubble on his cheeks and tugs at the strands of soft dark hair.

And Castiel in return seems just as eager to take Dean in with his hands and his mouth. The difference is that Cas also doesn’t seem able to stop talking.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs into Dean’s ear. “Your soul is so bright. You’re my righteous man, my human weakness.” His voice is a constant rumble that makes Dean shiver, the praise makes his heart swell in his chest until it feels too big to fit in his ribcage. But he still takes it all in, every touch, every kiss, every world, like it’s water and he’s been parched for years.

Dean gasps when he feels Cas’ erection brush against his own. There’s still a part of his mind that keeps asking how it’s possible they’re really doing this. It gets silenced when Cas shifts to align their cocks and rocks his hips.

Dean makes a totally undignified sound and throws his head back. He crosses his ankles behind Cas’ ass and uses them to urge him to move faster, to grind against him harder.

Castiel’s moans are the most perfect sounds Dean has ever heard. His cock is thick and wet with precome and it twitches excitedly when Dean wraps his fingers around it. Cas mirrors him, their fingers overlap on their cocks and make a perfect tight space into which they both thrust enthusiastically while groping at each other with their free hands.

The whole world fades away. For just once in Dean’s life, nothing matters. There’s not a villain they have to defeat, no monsters to kill, no people to save. There’s just him and Cas. Cas’ soft lips and clever tongue, his broad shoulders, beautiful eyes, and perfect cock. It’s all that matters and it’s all here just for Dean.

Dean’s never felt so safe, so cared for, so  _loved_ as in this moment pressed into the mattress by the weight of Cas’ firm body. And maybe it’s that feeling more than any physical sensation that pushes him over the edge.

He falls and it almost feels like flying. He’s always been scared of flying, of letting go, but Cas is right here ready to catch him, to hold him.

“Oh, yes, Dean, just like this, you’re perfect,” Cas whispers as Dean trembles under the waves of pleasure. His eyes are intent and hungry on Dean’s face like his expression of utter bliss is the best thing he’s ever seen. Dean believes it might have been true a moment later when he comes back to his senses and it’s Cas’ turn to let go.

Dean loves the way Cas’ face tenses and then relaxes with sweet relief as Cas spills over their joined hands.

They kiss long and slow. The evidence of their passion cooling between them.

“You were right,” Dean says breaking the comfortable silence.

“What about?”

“We should have done this years ago.”

Cas’ laughter is soft and it ruffles Dean’s hair. “I’m not sure about that. I can’t imagine it could be better than this. Maybe we were meant to wait.”

“Since when do we believe in faith?”

Cas smiles with just one corner of his mouth. “You might find it strange, stupid even, but I still do. Now maybe more than ever. Because you’re my faith, Dean. You always have been.”

There should be million snarky retorts coming to Dean’s mind but there aren’t any. He just lets the words warm his heart and presses himself closer to Cas.


	3. Paper thin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a very old fic. [Originally posted here](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/88518371018/destiel-au-where-cas-is-on-a-business-trip-and)  
> Destiel AU where Cas is on a business trip and sleeps in a fancy hotel.

The only flaw of his room is that its bathroom is adjacent to the bathroom of the next room. It’s just a little annoying that he hears the shower from the other room when he’s brushing his teeth. But then he hears a moan. Loud and filthy moan and it’s undoubtedly a male voice. He rinses his mouth and strains his ears, waiting for second voice but it doesn’t come. All he hears is the same deep male voice groaning. The thought of some guy jerking off right next to him, only the thin wall separating them, makes Cas’ cock twitch. He doesn’t hesitate and reaches for his hardening member giving it a quick stroke. A breathy moan leaves his lips and the sound of the shower from the other room stops. He knows the other man is listening, probably with his cock still in his hand. It only makes him moan louder. To his surprise, he receives a reply in a form of other obscene sounds.

They come almost at the same time and the other man huffs out a short laugh. Then they both turn the shower on and that’s the end.

 

It´s late when Cas finally gets to the hotel the next day. The meeting was long and boring and he can’t wait to get a shower. When the elevator door is closing, somebody slips inside at the last moment. Cas takes a look at the guy. He’s wearing a tailored suit which makes his broad shoulders and slim waist look just perfect. What takes Cas’ breath away are his eyes, bright green and with a playful sparkle in them. His nose and cheeks are peppered with freckles and oh Castiel should stop staring. The man looks at his loosened tie and mussed hair and smiles.

“Hard day?”

“Yeah,” Cas breaths out. He realizes the man didn’t push any button so he’s going to the same floor as him.

They say their goodbyes when they arrive but they both head the same direction down the hallway. It’s just a little bit awkward. The man winks at him when he stops at his door and fumbles for his key card. Castiel freezes. The man is unlocking the room next to Castiel’s. This gorgeous man is the voice from last night. Cas stops in front of his own room but he can’t stop staring at the stranger. The man looks at him, ready to say something when the realization hits him.

“Uh,” he averts his eyes and rubs the back of his neck. The pink tint his ears and cheeks get is adorable.

“Do you want to join me in the shower?” Cas burst out before he can stop himself.

The man looks up with a grin.

“I’m Dean, nice to meet you,” he says when he grabs Cas’ hips and pushes him into his room.

“Cas” he breaths out, pulling Dean’s jacket off his shoulders.

“You are even hotter than I imagined,” he adds and sucks at Dean’s neck.

“I imagined you,” Dean admits, “I saw you in the lobby and I imagined you. Didn’t know you were next door.”

“Oh fuck,” Cas swears and presses his lips hard to Dean’s. 


	4. Safe nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Originally posted here](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/182668981268/holaaaaa-if-i-can-submit-a-prompt-for-you-could)  
> Canon divergent - Dean and Cas had retired from hunting, Cas is human. Bottom!Dean, Top!Cas, Cas POV, kinda angsty

Cas looks up when he hears the scuffle of Dean’s bare feet in the doorway. He’s wearing his sleeping shirt and boxer briefs and he’s clutching a pillow to his chest. Cas feels a surge of affection towards him but he stomps on it and turns away.

“Are you still mad at me?” Dean asks.

Cas involuntarily shoots him a look. “Very much, yes,” he answers. There’s a moment of silence which Cas tries to use to focus on his book.

“Are you too mad at me to let me sleep with you tonight?”

Castiel shuts the book with a sigh.

“We said… we  _agreed_  on no more hunts. You promised-”

“I know, Cas, and I said I’m sorry. It was personal, I had to go.”

“As if hunts in which you are invested emotionally aren’t even more dangerous!” Cas says throwing the book angrily on his bedside table.

“Cas, I-”

“We’re not talking about it anymore,” Cas cuts him off. “You can sleep here if you want, but it won’t change anything. I’m mad at you.”

He turns the lamp off, draws the sheets up to his chin and squeezes his eyes shut.

He hears the soft click of the closing door, light footsteps and then rustle of sheets. The mattress dips and the familiar heat of Dean’s body seeps to him.

Cas feels his muscles relax automatically and he hates himself for it a little bit.

It takes Dean a moment to gather the courage to shift closer. He places his big, warm palm on Cas’ hip and nuzzles at the back of Cas’ neck.

“I didn’t say anything about touching,” Cas growls.

Dean’s hand only tightens and he brushes his lips against Cas’ skin giving him goosebumps. “Come on, Cas. I know you are mad because you love me.”

“Yes, I do, but I’m not very happy about it right now.”

“Cas, let me make it up to you,” Dean whispers against Cas’ ear, his hand moves to Cas’ belly.

Cas pushes him away and turns to face him.

“Do you even know what you would be making up for? Do you have any idea how  _scared_  I was?”

Dean opens his mouth to say something but Cas doesn’t let him. “I’m not used to it anymore. I’m not used to knowing you’re in danger. I’m not used to seeing you busted. It’s been years, Dean! Years since we got this, our happy ending, our quiet simple life! We worked so hard for it and I was happy with it and then you, you just…”

“Shh,” Dean hushes him and pulls him into an embrace. Only then Cas realizes he’s trembling. “Shhh, I’m sorry, I get it. You are right, I was an asshole risking what we have.”

Cas muffles a sob against Dean’s shoulder than he draws away just enough for him to see Dean’s face.

The fear isn´t the only thing making Cas feel miserable. There is also doubt and it´s just as bad.

“Do you miss it? Your old life? Are you bored?” it hurts even saying those words but they were a heavy weight in his chest, he needed to get them out.

Dean’s eyes widen. “What? No! Cas! Of course not!”

“Are you sure? Because if you are, I get it, I can-”

Dean cuts him off by pressing his lips against Cas’.

“I’m happy, Cas,” he whispers, their lips still touching. “Claire was in trouble. I  _had to_  help her. But I was happy to come back to you, to our safe nest.”

Cas gets it, he cares about Claire too, but there are other hunters that could have helped her, younger, less tired hunters that he wouldn’t be so worried about.

“Seeing you with those bruises and scratches,” Cas says with a sigh and presses a finger to Dean’s bruised lip. “And not being able to heal you with a single touch. It was horrible.”

“I’m okay, Cas, I promise, it doesn’t even hurt.”

Cas leans in and kisses the bruise. Dean turns his head and catches his lips.

Cas remembers the fear, the long moments of waiting, of not being sure Dean will return. He kisses Dean with that fear still in his mind - hungrily, desperately, possessively. And Dean, as always, melts under his touches. He wraps his arms around Cas’ shoulders and spreads his legs to accommodate Cas’ body and just takes every hard kiss, every bite to his lips, every touch searching for more bruises. He inhales sharply as Cas finds them and presses his fingers against them.

“You fucking dumbass,” Cas growls, “I’m so mad at you.”

“I know,” Dean sighs and throws his head back, giving Cas space to bite at his neck.

“I can’t lose you again,” Cas growls grinding against Dean.

“I know.” Dean’s hips meet Cas’. “But I would always come back to you. How couldn’t I? How couldn’t I?”

Cas growls pushing Dean´s shirt up and biting his nipple. Dean cries out, his fingers dig into Cas’ shoulders.

Cas’ hands are hard on him, leaving more bruises than the hunt. He touches him like he wants to chain him to his own body so he won’t ever leave again.

“I’ve never focused so much on surviving,” Dean says, his breath heavy. “Because never before I had something to come back to.” He grabs the back of Cas’ neck and pulls him in for a kiss.

“Cas!” he moans and tugs at Cas’ pajama pants.

Cas helps him get rid of them before dealing with Dean’s underwear. Their shirts follow right after. The moment they are both naked, Cas wraps his arms around Dean’s bent legs and leans down to swallow his hard cock. Dean cries out Cas’ name and his hands fly to Cas’ head, gripping his hair.

Cas pulls off kissing the tip. “Next time, I’m going with you.”

“There won’t be next time.”

Cas tongues at the slit. “Promise?”

“Yes, I promise, for god’s sake, Cas, stop teasing!”

Cas lets out a dark chuckle and slaps Dean’s thigh.

“Hand me the lube,” he orders.

Dean rolls to his side and stretches to reach the drawer. He tosses the tube to Cas and settles down on his back again.

Cas pushes Dean’s legs up and drags his tongue over Dean’s hole relishing the sounds Dean makes.

A moment later he pushes a lubed finger in, then another.

He would normally take more time, more care, but they’re both impatient and he knows Dean can take it.

Dean’s breath hitches in his throat when Cas presses in. Cas gives him time, kissing his chest and neck.

Dean wraps his legs around Cas’ waist as a sign for him to move and he does. He pushes in, slowly but with determination, swallowing the little moans escaping Dean’s mouth.

He stops to take a breath when he’s almost all the way in and then he presses further. He shoves Dean’s legs against his chest and grinds his hips against Dean’s ass to get deeper, impossibly deep.

Dean sobs, the strain on his legs and stretch of his hole and the fullness being too much but he takes it. He even pulls Cas closer, presses their lips together.

They stay like that, Cas deep inside Dean’s body. Them connected with bodies and souls here in their house, in their safe nest, far away from all the terrible things they’ve been through together.

They stay like this until it’s too much. Then Cas starts to move, slow small circles of his hips. His cock dragging against Dean’s prostate, Dean’s inner muscles squeezing him tight.

Their orgasms build up slowly and when they reach the peak it’s almost unbearable. It’s shattering, but that’s okay because they hold each other together.

There are tears in Dean’s eyes when he curls himself around Cas. He’s sticky with come and sweat and his skin is too hot but Cas pulls him closer and kisses the top of his head.

“I love you,” Dean says, voice hoarse from moaning, “and I love our house, I love cooking for you, I love watching you work in the garden, I even love the damn cats. I like being safe.”

“I know,” Cas whispers


	5. Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secret relationship, mob AU, Cas POV, bottom!Dean,nsfw
> 
> Warning for explicit violence, mentioned dub-con and abuse (not between Dean and Cas),minor character death
> 
> [Originally posted here](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/180931150008/hey-if-youre-still-doing-the-tropes-and-pairing)

Dean Winchester is the best and the worst thing that ever happened to Castiel.

He expected the guards, he expected the alarm, he even expected Crowley’s spouse to get roused and come out of his bedroom, but he didn’t expect Dean Winchester to be anything like what he turned out to be.

“Fergus?” Comes a deep voice from upstairs. Castiel turns gun at the ready.

The man who appears at the top of the stairs is young, tall with broad shoulders. He’s wearing a silky black robe with pink flowers on it. It’s untied so it hangs open at his sides revealing that he’s wearing lacy panties, stockings and a garter belt in matching pink color.

Castiel freezes taken aback by the sight. He manages to aim at the man at least.

To his surprise, Crowley’s husband doesn’t scream. He remains perfectly calm, the fact that he noticed  Castiel is revealed only by the slightly annoyed face he makes  - like armed strangers and dead bodyguards in his living room are just a minor inconvenience that happens every other week.

He starts to walk down the stairs slowly, gracefully. He’s aware of what he looks like in his expensive lingerie, what effect does the sinuous movement of his hips have on Castiel.

All Castiel can focus on is the way the pink lace barely contains his cock, how his body is muscular but his belly is soft, how the bridge of his nose is peppered with freckles and his lashes are dark and long.

He realizes the man is too close entirely too late. Dean stops right in front of him, unfazed by the gun pointing at his chest.

While keeping his green eyes trailed on Castiel, he leans down and presses his full lips to the mouth of the gun.

It gives him exactly the half second of shock making Castiel unable to react that he needs. His hands shoot up towards Castiel’s gun and in a swift practiced move, he disarms him.

At least that makes Castiel snap out of his stupor. Right at the moment, the gun leaves his fingers he bends his elbow stepping into Dean’s space and hitting his chin.

Dean stumbles a little but is back with a counterattack in a second.

Castiel has made a mistake, he let himself be fooled into thinking that a guy dressed like that couldn’t fight. Dean’s trained and experienced and Castiel isn’t going to underestimate him again.

They are equally matched which makes the fight exhilarating. At some point, Dean manages to get out of his loose robe and Castiel gets tangled in it.

For some reason, Dean doesn’t use the chance to get Castiel’s gun. Instead, he loops the silk belt around Castiel’s neck and tugs at it hard. Castiel struggles against the choking hold, his heart beating desperately, his mind in a whirlwind. He manages to get close to the wall. Using Dean as a leverage he kicks both feet against the wall. It’s impossible for Dean to withstand the impact so they both fall backward. They tumble on the floor, groping for each other, delivering punches.

Dean’s taller than Cas, younger, the advantage is on his side.

It isn’t such a surprise when strong thighs wrap around Castiel and push and he finds himself on his back, Dean straddling him.

A small wicked blade that must have come from the folds of the robe or from under the garter belt is pressed against his throat.

He presses his own knife to the small of Dean’s back, pointed towards his liver.

It’s a stalemate and they both know it.

Castiel is looking up at his opponent. He ‘s flushed, his hair is mused but his lips are slightly curved upside in a pleased smile.

Castiel himself is breathing in shallow gasps, he’s sore and sweaty and his cock is painfully hard.

“So you came here to kill me?  To hurt Crowley?” Dean asks sounding like it’s the most ridiculous plan he’s ever heard of.

“Kidnap you,” Castiel corrects.

Dean cocks his head. „That might piss him off. He hates when somebody takes his stuff.“

Castiel frowns but before he has a chance to say anything, Dean continues.

“I have a better idea. An offer.” With that, he withdraws his blade and places it next to Castiel’s head. Still in reach but less threatening.

“What is it?” Castiel asks, his own blade firmly in place. Dean doesn’t seem to mind.

“I will be your inside man. With the information, I can provide you with, you can ruin Crowley.”

“Why?”

Dean leans down so his face is close to Castiel’s.

“Because I hate my husband and because-” he moves his hips grinding against Castiel’s cock, making him moan, “I like you.”

Focusing all his strength into one movement Castiel flips them over,  getting Dean under him. When he sees his easy smile, he realizes he managed to do it only because Dean’s let him.

Castiel takes a moment to look at Dean. His chest is heaving, his nipples are hard, one of them pierced. The animal part of Castiel´s brain tells him to just rut into Dean mindlessly. He reins it in.

“I don’t trust you,” he says eventually.

Dean’s smile widens into a grin.

“Good, you shouldn’t trust anyone, but listen: If you kidnap me, and I won’t try to stop you, I promise, you will piss Crowley off. He will mobilize every man he has, every ally, to find you. He’ll kill you and I’ll probably die too during the effort to retrieve me so Crowley has an excuse to hunt down your whole family. We will only fuck once before we are both killed.

"If you listen to me, you will take away every piece of power he has until he’s alone and broken and then you can deliver your final strike. And we can fuck regularly as I deliver the information. ”

Castiel huffs out a laugh.

“You’re crazy. Why are you so fixed on fucking me, you just met me.”

“First of all, you can’t deny you want me too.” He lets his eyes slide to the obvious bulge in Castiel’s pants to make the point, “and second, I’ve met  you before, Castiel Novak.”

Castiel’s heart skips a beat. He automatically wraps his hand around Dean’s throat, squeezing.

“Where?” he growls.

“At a gala. You talked to Crowley there,” he says in a strangled voice. Castiel loosens his grip. „It was the deal he cheated you on. I was no one. I don’t blame you for not noticing me.“

Castiel feels like his head is spinning. He gets off of Dean and up on his feet.

“If we’re going to talk business, let’s do it in a more dignified position.” He offers a hand to help Dean to his feet which he accepts. Then he retrieves Dean’s robe.

“Please take it on so I can focus.”

Dean gives him a wide smug grin but slips his arms into the sleeves Castiel holds up for him.

They sit down on a white leather couch, Dean pours them whiskey and they start making plans.

It’s dreamlike. Castiel knows he shouldn´t trust this man, he knows he’s probably digging himself a grave. But there’s something about Dean that makes Castiel trust him. And it’s not just his pretty face or a hot body. It’s the way he talks about his husband, the way he looks at Castiel with hope in his eyes. It can all be a trap, but Castiel decides to take the risk.

“What about the dead bodyguards?” Castiel asks when everything’s settled.

“I’ll come up with something, trust me, let’s take it as a proof of my capability to manipulate Crowley.”

“You told me not to trust anybody.”

Dean smiles. There’s a cut on his lower lip and a bruise forming around it. It’s Castiel’s doing.

Before he can think better of it, Castiel reaches out and gently touches the swollen lip with the pad f his thumb.

Dean doesn’t flinch, he presses against it, it must sting.

“What a shame I ruined such a perfect lip,” Castiel muses, his words barely more than a whisper.

Dean moves his head minutely, catching the tip of Castiel’s thumb between his lips, tongue flicking out. Castiel gasps a little.

“At least he won’t kiss me if I´m damaged,” Dean says.

At that moment Castiel knows he’s going to save Dean Winchester.

Waiting in the appointed room, Castiel is sure he’s going to get himself killed. He’s been such a fool to trust the spouse of his enemy. He’s a bigger fool every minute he’s staying here.

The door opens, Castiel jumps drawing his gun.

“Easy, tiger, it’s me,” Dean says closing the door behind himself. Castiel remembers his reaction on the gun pointed at him the first time and feels heat surging in his body. He puts his gun away and focuses on present Dean.

He’s wearing tight black jeans and a black shirt open to the fourth button. Every inch an epitome of seduction, just like the first time.

“So, you came,” Dean observes uselessly with a smile.

“I’m surprised too,” Castiel admits.

Dean holds up a big envelope. “Here’s everything you need for step one.”

Castiel frowns. “If that’s it, then you didn’t have to come in person.”

“I wanted to.” His voice is low. He takes a step towards Cas.

“Dean,” Castiel sighs in protest, but Dean only comes closer, entering Castiel’s personal space.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I fucked somebody I  _wanted_  to fuck?”

Something flutters around  Castiel’s stomach. He looks at Dean’s lips. There’s still a shadow of that bruise.

He grabs the back of Dean’s head and pulls him into a kiss. Dean relaxes into it with a pleased hum and opens up for Castiel.

Castiel’s hand slips into the open collar, finding the pierced nipple and pinching it. Dean moans into Castiel’s mouth and presses his hips against Castiel’s thigh so Castiel can feel his arousal.

They tumble to the bed. Dean shrugs off his shirt as Castiel struggles with his jeans. Dean’s wearing panties again, this time black. Castiel pushes them down and swallows Dean´s cock in one go.

Dean cries out, unabashed, his fingers find Castiel’s hair.

Castiel sucks him eagerly, relishing the wrongness of this whole situation, it makes him dizzy.

He fondles Dean’s balls, then slips his fingers behind them and further until he finds something hard. He presses against it eliciting a moan out of Dean.

He pulls away with a wet sound and looks first at the base of the buttplug,  then at Dean who’s grinning at him, cheeks red.

“I was hopeful,” he shrugs.

With a chuckle, Castiel leans down to kiss him. He presses Dean’s bent knees against his chest and pulls out the plug.

Before pushing down his pants and underwear, he reaches into his back pocket for a condom and a packet of lube. He’s been hopeful too.

He fucks Dean fully dressed, liking the contrast with Dean’s bare skin. Dean doesn’t complain either.

Castiel slows down when the first desperate want is satisfied. He keeps a  steady rhythm but gives himself time to properly explore what makes Dean tick.

Dean turns relaxed and pliant under his ministrations. He doesn’t hold anything back, enjoying himself like this might be the last opportunity he ever gets. It makes it so much more important for Castiel to make him undone.

Dean comes digging his fingers into Castiel’s back and crying out. Castiel has never liked any shortened version of his name, but the euphoric „Cas!“ from Dean’s mouth is the sweetest sound.

Castiel’s orgasm hits him like a freight train. He spasms with a wave after wave of pleasure.

When he comes back to his senses, he pulls out carefully and gets rid of the condom.  He knows he should clean himself up and leave, that every minute spent here puts both of them in danger. But when he sees Dean splayed on the bed with eyes closed, one hand under his head, the other resting on his belly, he can’t help himself. He kicks off his pants and underwear pooled at his ankles by now and takes off his shirt, then he lies down next to Dean and draws him closer.

Dean goes willingly. He wraps his leg around Cas and nuzzles at his neck.

“You smell good,” he mutters. “I’ll have to scrub myself raw to get it off my body. ”

It ‘s like a cold claw around Cas’ stomach.

“Would he hurt you if he found out?”

Dean snorts. “He’d kill me. ”

“You don’t sound afraid. ”

“I’m not. Living with him is hell. Death would be a redemption.”

Castiel instinctively holds him tighter. Dean makes a small pleased sound and runs his hand over Cas’ heavily tattooed shoulder and arm.

Castiel breaks the comfortable silence. “How did you become a husband of a mob boss?”  The question has been bugging him for a while.

“My father is a mob boss. He couldn’t stand the idea of his  _fag_  of a firstborn son succeeding to his throne so he sold me to Crowley.”

Castiel’s jaw actually drops.

“Don’t look at me like this. It’s better than a bullet through the head or being sent to Siberia or something. At least I can have all the expensive stuff I like.”

“How did you manage to get here?” He’d expect Dean to be under supervision twenty-four seven like the precious possession he seems to be to Crowley.

“Crowley has made a lot of mistakes lately. He’s losing the loyalty of his people. I only needed to know where to push to get a guard on my side.”

“Did you-”

“Sleep with him? No. I know I came off slutty-”

“That’s not what I-”

“I only whore myself for board and lodging,” Dean adds bitterly.

Cas tangles his fingers in Dean’s hair and tugs to make Dean look him in the eyes.

“I never thought about you that way and never will.”

Dean kisses him hungrily. Cas pushes himself on top of him enjoying the feeling of skin to skin.

“How much time do we have?”

“Enough,” Dean breathes out.

They take Crowley down piece by piece. And they do fuck regularly even though Cas stopped calling it fucking a long time ago, probably after the first time Dean appeared in worn jeans and ACDC t-shirt.

“I look like shit,” he said running his hand through his hair self-consciously.

“You don’t need to do that, you know?”

“Do what?”

“Playing the homme fatale. I love you as much in jeans as in pretty lingerie.” Castiel realized the word slipping off his mouth only when he saw Dean’s expression. Dean didn’t reply, but he blushed, something Cas hadn’t seen him do before.

With each successful move against Crowley, Castiel’s power grows and his position among his family strengthens. He doesn’t give away his source of information no matter how much they press. Dean already has a target on his back, Castiel doesn’t have to make it worse.

Their collaboration works well, but there are still bumps on the road that make Cas want to scratch this whole ordeal.

“I don’t feel like fucking,” Dean says when Cas wraps his arms around his waist.

“Alright, just let me hold you,” he pulls Dean closer against himself. Dean hisses with pain.

Castiel steps back alarmed. “What’s it?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me, I’m not your husband,” Castiel growls. Dean doesn’t put up resistance when Castiel drags him closer by his belt loops, not even when he pushes up his shirt.

“That bastard!” Cas barks out when he sees the dark bruises covering Dean’s side. “Fucking asshole. I’m gonna kill him right the fuck now.”

“Shh, calm down,” Dean says putting his hands on Cas’ shoulders in a placating gesture. “It’s not that bad. He got really pissed of because of the deal you snatched from him.”

“Yeah, so it’s my fault. That makes it much better.”

“It just means we’re succeeding. He’s losing his nerve, he’s going to make mistakes.

"Dean, I can’t let him-”

Dean shuts him up with a kiss knowing too well it always works on him.

It gets even worse. And when that happens, Castiel doesn’t recognize it at first. The way Dean moves gingerly like he’s in pain, the way he won’t meet Castiel’s eyes.

Cas doesn’t ask what’s going on because he knows Dean sometimes doesn’t want to talk about the things that happen when he’s not with Cas. But then Dean’s collar slips aside and Cas sees the dark marks.

“What the hell?” he yanks at the fabric. Dean doesn’t flinch, he just closes his eyes, breaching himself for a blow, not trying to defend himself. It’s the most heartbreaking sight.

“Dean, what the fuck?” Cas breathes out ripping the buttons of Dean’s shirt open so he can look at the hickeys even though each of them is like a punch in the stomach.

Dean replies with his eyes still closed. “He got suspicious that I have somebody. So he made me remember I’m his.” Tears slip between his closed lids and run down his cheeks.

Castiel stares at him, unable to speak for the storm of emotions raging in him.

At the lack of a reply, Dean opens his eyes.

“Do I disgust you?” he manages to sound defiant and broken at the same time.

Cas shakes his head vehemently. “No. But I’m sick of myself for leaving you at the hands of that man. I’m done with this, Dean. We need to leave now. I have a good contact in Jakarta. Nobody’s gonna find us there-”

“Cas, stop!” Dean has to raise his voice to cut him off and he squeezes Castiel’s hands.

“We’re too close to give up now. Please, hold on, babe. We need to finish it.”

Castiel squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head even though it’s clear he will do as Dean wishes. He will always do what Dean wishes for.

Dean’s soft hands touch Cas’ cheeks and his thumbs carefully wipe off the tears hanging off his lashes.

Crowley is almost defenseless when they go for their final move, but he still puts up a hell of a fight.

Castiel’s hand on the knife’s handle is slick with blood. Crowley makes a last attempt at defense, but Castiel uses his knees to hold him on the floor. He leans down into Crowley’s face.

“I want you to know it wasn’t me who took everything from you.” Crowley is looking up at him with hate in his eyes, he’s too weakened by blood loss to do anything else.

“I didn’t even take Dean from you, he gave himself to me willingly. And every step, every move we made against you was his idea. Looks like you choose the wrong person to abuse.”

“You idiot, he used you to get what he wants.”

“And I don’t care. I want him to have everything in the world.”

He twists the knife in Crowley’s gut. Blood bubbles on his lips with his last breath.

Castiel tries to straighten up but he doesn’t have enough strength so he just rolls off of Crowley’s body.

He exhales heavily, staring at the ceiling. His shirt feels hot and wet.

“Cas? Cas! Oh, fuck no! NO!” Dean’s voice breaks, his eyes are wet when he appears in Castiel’s field of vision.

“No, babe, please,” he sobs pressing down on Castiel’s wound.

“It’s okay,” Castiel whispers through pain, “it’s okay. We won, you’re free. That’s what matters.”

“Shut up, shut up. I’m not doing this without you.” Castiel can only guess Dean’s crying, his vision is going dark at the edges. It’s unpleasant and he’s tired. He closes his eyes.

First, there’s confusion. He doesn’t remember what happened. Then he feels a dull ache in his side and remembers not expecting to wake up. The fight comes back then, Crowley dying and Dean crying because Castiel was going to die too.

Then there’s confusion again. The ceiling he’s staring at isn’t the same one, it probably isn’t even in Crowley’s manor. He’s not lying on a floor either. He turns his head to take a better look at his surroundings.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean’s smile is bright even though a little shaky. He leans down and presses his lips to Castiel’s hand, that he must have been holding the whole time.

“Tell me we’re not at a hospital.”

“We’re not. I have a friend for cases like this.”

“You mean criminals needing medical care?”

Dean grins. “Exactly.”

There’s a moment when they just look at each other, then Dean lets out a heavy breath.

“For god’s sake, you gave me a scare.”

Cas lifts his hand, which is harder than he expected and brushes his fingers against Dean’s cheek. “Come here.”

Dean kisses him so softly it’s almost ridiculous.

“So, I didn’t die after all. Other news?”

“Crowley is dead. The mess is dealt with. Officially there was a dispute among Crowley’s people resulting in a nasty fight and Crowley´s death. The Novak family is really good at that stuff. Oh and your brother Gabriel is a funny guy.”

Castiel growls. “I’m sorry Gabriel is the first of my siblings you’ve met.”

“I don’t mind. He actually helped me a lot. Which reminds me I should go tell him you woke up.”

“No, I want a few more minutes in private with you.”

“Good idea.” This time he kisses him more confidently. It comes to Castiel’s mind that he can’t wait for his body to heal up so he can get a use of Dean’s newly-gained freedom.

“So, you’re a widower now?” he asks.

“Yeah, why?”

“We can finally get our first date.”


	6. Truth or dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> college au, friends to lovers, first time, fingering, alcohol cw
> 
> originally posted [here](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/178020343913/truth-or-dare) and [here](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/182789577718/dare)

"Truth or dare," Castiel asks.

"Truth," Dean answers. He’s well past being tipsy and half through the happy phase of being drunk when everything seems ridiculous and simple and nothing matters and boundaries are an empty word.

"What’s the craziest thing you’ve done...in bed, I mean not literally in bed, but you know...sexually." There’s a slight slur to Cas’ words that give away he’s just as drunk as Dean. His hair is a mess and his cheeks are flushed and he’s already lost his shirt to a dare and if Dean’s lucky, he’ll get him out of his pants in a few minutes.

"With somebody or on my own?"

Castiel squints and cocks his head. He’s adorable. Dean feels giddy. Everybody’s gone to bed already so it’s just him and Cas still playing this stupid and wonderful game and there’s no place in the world he’d rather be.

"With somebody," Cas says and is it just Dean or has his voice just gotten huskier than normally?

"I uhm-" he looks down to the carpet they’re sitting on. If anybody asked, he’d say his face is red because of the alcohol. "A girl named Rhonda made me wear her panties."

Castiel doesn’t say anything and Dean’s too embarrassed to look up.

"And on your own?" Cas asks at least. He sounds strange. Dean looks up at him only to find out Cas’ face is turned away and he’s fumbling with an almost empty bottle.

Dean gives him a crooked smile. "I think it’s my turn."

Castiel returns the smile and nods.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Take off your pants."

Cas huffs out a laugh as he gets up and starts unzipping his jeans. Dean knows it’s lame and he could use it better, but who cares right now? He just wants to see Cas’ thunder thighs.

He realizes he’s outright staring at his friend’s almost naked body when Cas clears his throat.

"Truth or dare?"

„Truth," Dean blurts out without thinking.

"What’s the weirdest sexual thing you did on your own?" There’s such a dark daring look in Cas’ eyes that Dean can’t but lean a bit closer, look Cas in the eyes and say this time without shame: "I put my fingers in my asshole."

He expects him to recoil, to look scandalized.

Castiel's eyes do widen in surprise but instead of flinching away, he leans even closer and licks his lips.

"You fingered yourself?"

Dean nods.

"Did you-"

Dean stops him by putting his finger against Cas’ lips. Only when his heart starts beating like crazy at the soft touch of Cas’ lips, he realizes what the hell he’s done, but it’s too late to take it back.

"Truth or dare?" his voice is barely more than a whisper, but it’s enough when they’re so close to each other.

"Truth," is Cas’ answer for the first time.

"What was the most inappropriate moment you got a boner?"

Cas lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head.

"Playing truth or dare with my best friend who’s straight and thinks I’m straight too but I’ve actually had a crazy crush on him for years, while I’m wearing nothing but boxer briefs."

Dean’s jaw drops. He’s probably not breathing for a whole minute. Then his last brain cell that isn’t fried makes him look into Cas’ lap and indeed, there’s a very telling bulge.

"You... I..." he’s unable to say anything and Cas is starting to get up and he looks embarrassed and Dean’s _has to_ say something.

He grabs Cas’ wrist. "Not straight!" he blurts out.

Cas turns to him. He looks almost savage. "Truth or dare."

"I-"

"Truth or dare," Cas growls and goddamn Dean’s getting hard too.

"Dare."

"Let me finger you."

 

��

 

 

It must be Murphy’s law that when you drunkenly decide to do something you don’t have the courage for while sober, the moment you are about to actually do it, you instantly sober up.

Dean watches as Cas closes the door and sits on Dean’s bed and his head is suddenly painfully clear.

Dean leans his back against the door and runs his hands over his face.

"Dean? Are you okay?"

Dean shakes his head but doesn’t elaborate.

Castiel stands up and with a concerned expression on his face walks towards Dean.

"What’s wrong?" he asks tilting his head.

"Do you... do you really want to do it?"

"What? Finger you? Yes. I’d like to suck your cock too if that’s fine."

Dean closes his eyes and lets his head hit the door.

"How can you just... we- we’re-"

"Friends?"

Dean looks at him and nods, glad that he understands.

"Yes, we are, Dean. But I’m also very attracted to you. And it´s mutual judging by how determined you’ve been all night to get me undressed."

Dean’s lips part, but he doesn’t get a chance to say anything.

Cas gives him a small sad smile and brushes his fingertips down Dean’s jaw.

"But you’re right, Dean. We shouldn’t do it. Not like this, not because of a dare. If I’m ever going to do anything sexual with you, it has to be because you actually want it." With that, he reaches around Dean for the door handle.

For a moment, Dean imagines he lets Cas go, then wakes up in the morning still wanting him but never ever finding the courage so they will stay very frustrated friends.

"Wait!"

Cas looks at him. His eyes are wide and his cheeks are still flushed and he’s wearing just his boxers. How the hell could Dean let him go?

"I want it," Dean basically spits the words out. Cas squints at him.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah I’m sure just... could we like... maybe... kiss first? If that’s okay?"

Cas looks like he’s trying to hold back a grin, but his lips still curl into a smile.

"Of course, Dean. You didn’t expect me to throw you on the bed and just fuck you with my fingers, did you?"

"I-uh." Dean rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks feel on hot. Cas huffs out a laugh.

"Come here, you dumbass, let me kiss you."

Dean looks up and before he can realize that they are really about to do it, Cas is leaning in and pressing their lips together.

Technically it’s like any other first kiss. A little awkward and hesitant before they get in sync with each other.

But other than this, it’s totally different than any other kiss Dean’s ever had. Because it’s Cas. It’s Cas and his lips are very soft, his tongue pointy and downward sinful and his shoulders are firm under Dean’s hands and his hair is all fluffy and it’s Cas. Smart, kind, dorky Cas that Dean’s been fascinated by from the first moment he met him. And now they are kissing and it’s blowing Dean’s mind making him feel even drunker than he’s felt before.

"Still want it?" Cas asks, his lips bearly leaving Dean’s.

"More than ever," Dean answers truthfully.

 

Dean’s still nervous as they stumble onto the bed, but Cas’ kisses distract him enough that he doesn’t entirely freak out when he finds himself on his back, his pants and underwear being pulled off.

"Wow, nice," Cas breathes out when Dean’s cock bobs against his belly. Dean’s cheeks feel so like they might go up in flames any minute.

"Thanks, I guess," he mutters. Cas chuckles and leans down to mouth at the base of Dean’s cock.

"Oh fuck!" Dean cries out. His arms fly up to grab the headboard.

Cas lets out another deep chuckle and rescues Dean’s feet from his clothes. He runs his palms up Dean’s hairy thighs, his stare is so intense on Dean’s body it’s almost unbearable. Dean tries not to twitch as Cas’ touch gives him goosebumps.

Cas’ hands tighten on Dean’s hipbones and he actually licks his lips before diving down and swallowing Dean’s cock.

Dean gasps for breath. He’s had blowjobs before, quite a lot, but nobody has ever blown him like this, with such devotion, like Dean’s the best thing he’s ever had in his mouth. Dean makes a sound that’s halfway between a moan and a sob, desperately trying not to push deeper into Cas’ throat.

Cas pulls off with an obscene wet sound and looks at Dean. His lips are even pinker than normally and his blue irises are almost entirely swallowed up by black pupils. Dean clenches his teeth feeling like he might come from the sight alone.

"So," Cas says as he straightens and pushes lightly at Dean’s knees to make him bent them. "When you did it yourself, how many fingers did you take?"

Dean’s boiling blood all drained to his cock but now it’s in his cheeks again.

"Just one," he admits breathlessly. "And I’ve never been with a guy." He bites his lip the moments the words are out. He has no idea why he said it. Cas’ eyes widen in surprise and for a brief moment, Dean dreads that Cas might back off.

"Not at all?" Cas asks. Dean shakes his head.

"I... I know I’m into guys I just... never acted on it."

"Hmm," Cas’ deep voice rumbles as he looks down at Dean. "Then I’d better try really hard to not ruin it for you," he says and rubs his stubbled cheek against Dean’s knee.

Dean thinks he might be already ruined for anyone else, but he fortunately manages to keep these words for himself.

Cas pushes Dean’s knees further up. Dean has to steady his breathing when he basically _feels_ Cas’ stare on his hole.

Cas runs the pad of his thumb over the puckered flesh making Dean shiver.

Cas hums again like he’s deep in thoughts. "You know what? I changed my mind."

Dean gapes at him, terrified. If Cas is going to leave now, he’ll die of embarrassment.

"I want to eat you out."

"What?"

Cas frowns. "Use my mouth, on your hole. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it."

"But... but what about you? Isn’t it like... disgusting?"

Cas huffs out a laugh. "Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna enjoy this just fine." With that, he puts his hands on Dean’s ass cheeks to pull them apart and leans down.

"Cas!" Dean cries when the hot wet tongue drags over his sensitive rim.

Cas hums-a sound that’s starting to drive Dean crazy and licks and sucks. Dean lets go of the headboard to grab onto Cas’ hair tugging slightly. He knows he’s moaning like his life depends on it but he’s unable to stop himself. The sensations are so new and intimate and _exciting_.

He’s actually a little relieved when Cas stops because he’s started to feel overwhelmed. He looks at Cas who’s looking just slightly less out of breath than Dean feels.

"Good?" Cas asks.

"I’m having a heart attack."

Cas grins at him. "Ready for more?"

Dean nods. It will be a great way to die.

"Lube?" Cas asks.

"The second drawer," Dean says gesturing towards the nightstand. He’s glad he doesn’t have to move.

Cas crawls over him to reach the drawer. When he’s about to pull away, Dean grabs his shoulder. It’s so thick it makes Dean angry.

Cas looks at Dean with surprise but he relaxes when Dean pulls him down for a kiss. The taste is strange, but it’s the idea of where that mouth has been that makes Dean shiver.

"Are you really okay?" Cas asks softly, his lips just a breath away from Deans. "We can stop here for now."

"Don’t you dare," Dean growls. Cas chuckles as he resumes his position between Dean’s legs.

He squeezes out some lube and rubs it between his palms to warm it.

"The angle is different so I’ll be able to push deeper than when you do it yourself."

Dean nods, his abandoned cock twitches at the idea.

"You need to let me know if something feels off. Okay?"

"I will. Just go on before I lose my nerve."

"Okay, try to relax," Cas suggests before brushing his wet fingertips over Dean’s hole. He pushes his index in, just to the first knuckle. Dean focuses on taking deep slow breaths. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets himself be overtaken by the sensation of Cas’ finger pushing deeper. It’s good, it’s familiar until it’s more than Dean’s used to. He moans and clenches his muscles which enhances the feeling of being filled and makes him moan even more.

"You okay?" Cas asks.

"I’m great."

Cas runs his free hand up Dean’s chest under his shirt and pinches his nipple making Dean hiss before he starts to move his finger inside Dean.

"Fuck yes," Dean sighs. He reaches for his cock, but Cas bats his hand away.

"No. Leave it up to me."

"Okay, okay, fine, oh god!" Dean cries out when Cas touches a spot inside him that makes his whole body clench with a shock of pleasure.

"Dean Winchester, let me introduce you to your prostate."

"Fuck!"

"Amazing, isn’t?"

Instead of a reply, Dean sobs into the back of his hand as Cas brushes over his prostate again and again.

"I’m going to add another finger." Cas informs and takes Dean’s incoherent sound as an affirmative.

Dean bites his lip and groans at the stretch and burn.

"Relax, babe, I’ve got you."

Dean opens his eyes. The utter focus with which Cas is looking at him is beautiful. His free hand is moving over Dean’s thigh in a soothing gesture. Dean wonders if anyone ever cared for his pleasure and comfort this much. He feels his body opening for Cas, letting him in and he’s rewarded by a feeling of fullness.

"God, Dean, you’re so beautiful," Cas says as he fucks Dean steadily. "I wish you could see yourself as I do right now. Loving my fingers up your ass. Your hole stretched around them, your cock leaking, your face... fuck Dean, it’s better than I imagined."

"You...you did?"

"Yeah. This and much more. You on your knees sucking my cock, you bend over the kitchen table, you in my lap."

Dean’s trembling, his body feels like a livewire, his climax is closing in.

"Cas, please," he moans.

Moving his hand faster, pushing it deeper and harder, Cas leans down and wraps his lips around Dean’s cock.

And Dean loses it. He thinks he might have shouted a somewhat coherent warning before his vision blacks out and he’s coming harder than ever. His body spasms so hard hi arches his back off the bad and kicks his legs out.

He opens his eyes, gasping for breath, his heart hammering against his breastbone.

Cas is grinning down at him. He has his boxers down to his knees and his hard cock in his hand.

It seems he didn’t pull back fast enough because there’s a speck of come on his chin.

Without thinking, Dean grabs the back of his head and pulls him down. Cas collapses on top of him with a huff and freezes a little when Dean licks his own jizz off his face.

Then they are kissing. Dirty and wet. Dean grabs Cas’ ass when he starts to rock his hips dragging his cock through the hot sticky mess on Dean’s stomach.

It feels so amazing Dean would come again if it was physically possible.

Cas moans Dean’s name when his orgasm hits and Dean holds him tight against his chest as Cas rides it.

 

They take a few long minutes to just bask in the afterglow. Then Cas pushes himself up and uses the kleenex on Dean’s nightstand to clean them up.

Cas suddenly seems very silent, the confidence with which he took Dean apart is gone. He pulls his boxers up and sits on the edge of the bed. Dean reaches for his arm.

"Are you gonna stay?"

Cas actually flinches at Dean’s words sending a pang of panic through Dean’s chest.

"I don’t think it’s a good idea," he says not looking Dean in the face.

It takes Dean a moment to find his breath. "Why?"

Cas finally turns to him. There’s a deep crease between his brows, his eyes sre sad. "Because there’s a good chance you’ll wake up in the morning and regret what we’ve done."

Dean mirrors his frown. "I don’t think so. And even if, we’re friends, we can figure it out."

Cas’ lips curl up but it lacks mirth. "Friends with benefits?"

"I don’t know. Maybe. If that’s what you want. Maybe something else."

Cas raises an eyebrow.

"Like boyfriends maybe?"

A sharp feeling like a bolt of lightning runs down Dean’s spine. He realizes it’s equal parts anxiety and excitement.

"You’d want that?" his voice sounds weak to his own ears.

"It’s what I dreamed of the most."

Dean huffs out the breath that he was holding. He tugs at Cas’ arm and Cas lies down next to him.

"Truth or dare?" Dean asks.

Cas’ eyes darken. "Dare."

"Be my boyfriend."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. What Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> accidental handjob, roommates!au, friends to lovers, first time, alcohol cw  
> [Originally posted here](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/181437823818/what-matters)

“Yeah but my cock’s bigger.”

Cas laughs from his spot on the carpet. He looks ridiculous laughing while lying on the floor. Or maybe Dean just finds it ridiculous because they are both drunk. Dean’s at that stage when he’s slightly dizzy and overly relaxed when his tongue is loose and all the things he bottles up all day are spilling out. He doesn’t care, it feels like shaking off heavy shackles.

“No, it’s not,” Cas says resolutely when he catches his breath.

Dean frowns at him. “You don’t know that. You’ve never seen my cock.”

Cas pushes himself up on his elbow just to raise an eyebrow at Dean.

“Of course I have. You forget your towel  _all the time_  and you’re not exactly shy.”

Dean’s cheeks suddenly feel a little bit hotter. He rubs the back of his neck thinking about all the times he walked through their apartment naked. He straightens, getting back his hold on his confidence.

“Well, so you know it’s big,” he says with a smirk.

Cas lies back down with a sigh. “Yeah, your cock is big, Dean. But it isn’t bigger than mine.”

Dean tries not to imagine it, he knows he shouldn’t, but the alcohol in his veins blew up all his restraints.

“But you are shorter,” he protests. He takes advantage of the fact that Cas can’t see his face and lets his eyes roam over Castiel’s body. He’s muscular and firm, but there’s something soft and graceful about him at the same time. Dean would find him attractive if he was…

“I don’t think there’s a correlation between a person’s height and the size of their cock.”

“What about the shoe size?” Dean says nudging Cas’ foot with his. It makes Cas chuckle.

“Why do you care, Dean?”

“Because size matters, Cas, and because you were the first one who started comparing the two of us.”

They were actually talking about who’s got better chance to score a date. Dean doesn’t even remember how they got to cocks.

“But you’re the one who brought up cocks,” Cas retorts.

“Yeah of course I did, because I’m pretty proud of my cock and there’s no way your’s bigger than mine.”

“I didn’t say mine is bigger. I think we’re roughly the same size. Give or take a few inches.”

They both laugh at that. Dean finishes his glass of whiskey with one deep gulp. “Let’s see.”

“What?” Cas sits up, eyes wide.

“There’s just one way to prove it, right? Pants off.”

Cas stares at him, unmoving, as Dean starts to open his zipper. There’s a part of Dean’s mind that asks if he’s really  _that_  drunk. The rest of his mind tells it to shut up the moment Cas reaches for his own zipper.

Dean feels like he’s having an out of body experience, like this is happening to somebody else.

“Get up,” he says and Cas obeys. He puls his underwear down at the same time as Dean and steps closer.

Dean’s heart is beating much faster than it should. This should be fun, silly stupid fun. But for some reason he finds it hard to breath when Cas is standing a foot away from him, cock out. It’s so stupid, so stupid.

Dean looks up and realizes he’s been staring at Cas’ cock while Cas was watching his face. Dean swallows thickly.

“So?” Cas raises an eyebrow.

“Well,” Dean breathes out, “you were right.”

Cas leans his head to one side, his eyes fly to Dean’s crotch for a half second, then he’s back to looking at Dean intently.

“You know, the size really matters when it’s hard.” His voice is strange, even deeper than normally, like he’s fighting himself to get the words out. It gives Dean a strange chill and he feels a pull in his lower belly. His breath hitches in his throat.

He’s not gonna jerk himself in front of his friend. He’s not-

But Cas is already taking himself in his hand and the strangest thing is that Dean can feel his own cock already filling with blood. He wraps his fingers around his shaft and starts stroking.

The little gasping sound Cas lets out makes Dean look up into Cas’ face. He’s flushed and breathing hard and Dean  _has_  to stroke himself faster.

He realizes they must have stumbled closer when his hand bumps into Cas’ and they both still. The whole world stills. Dean stares at Cas’ cock peeking out of the ring of his fingers. He hears  Cas’ heavy breath, he feels it hot on his face.

“Dean,” Cas whispers and it sound half like a plea.

Moving like a sleepwalker, Dean moves his hand and brushes his fingers against the head of Cas’ cock. Cas gasps, but he doesn’t stop him. He actually moves his hand to make space for Dean. Dean moves a bit more confidently, but still more exploring than anything else. The skin is soft and hot under his touch, his fingers are trembling slightly.

“Fuck, this is weird,” he whispers as he finally wraps his fingers around Cas.

“What is?”

“Touching a cock that isn’t my own.”

“But it feels good,” Cas says softly. Dean’s eyes shoot up to his face.

“Does it?” he asks, moving his hand a bit gingerly up and down.

Castiel’s eyes fall shut and he nods.

At that moment Dean finally accepts that it’s really happening. There’s no point in denying what this is about, what this has always been about.

With his newly-gained confidence, he tries to jerk Cas the way he likes it himself. Cas has been right about the size, but the shape is different and the angle is awkward but after a few tries Dean twists his wrist just right _._

“What about this?”

Cas moans in lieu of a reply and Dean’s abandoned cock twitches.

He tries to use his left hand on himself but it makes his rhythm falter for a moment which Cas notices.

“Wait, let me-” Cas pushes Dean’s hand away and gets a hold on Dean’s cock. Dean tries really hard to rein his reaction and fails. All his breath leaves his lungs in a rush and his knees buckle. He has to grab Cas’ shoulder with his free hand not to fall over.

Cas lets out a soft laugh.

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean moans desperately trying to push into Cas’ fist and keep his own hand moving in the same time.

He ends up writhing awkwardly and the sounds he makes would be downright embarrassing if he had a functioning brain cell to spare.

He groans when Cas releases his cock and grabs his shoulders instead.

“Dean, wait, wait, let’s try-” he pushes Dean a few steps back until he’s pressed against a wall.

“Cas!” Dean cries out, begging, but then Cas is back touching him. He presses himself against Dean and their cocks, hard and wet with precome, slide against each other.

Dean cries out and moves his hips to meet Cas’. Cas huffs out another soft laugh and wraps his hand around both their cocks, other hand propped against the wall next to Dean’s head, and starts moving in a steady rhythm.

Dean feels like his whole world is leaning sideways and he has to hold on to something. He grabs Cas’ t-shirt.

“Dean,” it’s soft and breathy and perfect. Dean’s hands slide around Cas’ neck. Cas leans his forehead against Dean’s so their breaths and soft moans mingle between them.

It feels incredible. It’s not just the friction, it’s not like when he’s doing it himself. It’s intimate because he can  _feel_  Cas’ arousal. It’s strange and new and perfect and at least half of it is because _it’s Cas_.

“Fuck, Cas, fuck, I-” he moans as the pleasure threatens to overwhelm him.

Cas shifts, wrapping his arm around Dean, bringing him into a hug. He moves his hips faster, harder, moaning into Dean’s ear. Dean can feel him tremble as his orgasm approaches.

“Dean!” he groans with a hard thrust and Dean comes. His whole body jerks in Cas’ arms as he spills over Cas’ hand and both their cocks. It only takes Cas a few wet slides against Dean’s cock to fall over the edge. They ride it out pressed close together.

Dean just starts to coming back to his senses when Cas pulls away just far enough to look him in the eyes.

“You okay?” he asks, voice rough from moaning but tone gentle.

“Yeah,” Dean breathes out. He watches as Cas uses the hem of his shirt to clean their mess.

“You can use the bathroom first,” Cas says with a smile.

“Thanks, ” Dean answers breathlessly.

Before stepping away, Cas grabs the back of Dean’s head and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. For some reason the little gesture makes Dean’s heart ache.

They don’t talk about it. They pretend it never happened. The next day they both nurture a terrible hangover so Dean figures out Cas might have actually forgotten what happened. Dean hasn’t though. The events of the night come back to him more often then he’d welcome and at the worst times. Like every time he and Cas touch accidentally or every time he looks at Cas’ hands, or lips or Cas in the general. It’s horrible. It’s like there is a secret room deep in his mind and the door got smashed that night and now all the thoughts Dean has been pushing there not since he met Cas but even before, ever since he was a boy growing up with his narrowminded dad, are rushing out.

When he realizes there’s no chance in stopping the thoughts, Dean tries to get it out of his system by jerking off to the memories of Cas’ body against his. It only makes everything worse. He hooks up with a girl but doesn’t get past her touching his cock. There’s just one pair of hands he wants on himself and it makes him desperate.

He gives up after a week. He needs to do it again. He convinces himself it’s just to solve his thoughts, to explore what used to be forbidden and pretends it has nothing to do with Cas. He doesn’t admit to himself he’s a bit heartbroken that Cas acts like it never happened, that it didn’t mean anything to Cas while it turned Dean’s life upside down.

He starts his plan by getting Cas into the same mood he’s been in that night.

He makes Cas’ favorite food and puts on a movie he knows Cas wanted to see and starts pouring him drinks.

He thinks it’s going smoothly right until he pours Cas his third shot. Cas grabs the remote, stops the movie and turns towards Dean.

“If you’re trying to get me drunk so we can have another jerk off session, you just need to ask.”

Dean gapes at him like an idiot. “I… I didn’t… I didn’t know if you’d want to-” is all he manages to get out.

“Then you should have asked. If I didn’t like it the first time, it wouldn’t be very fair to get me drunk and willing again, would it?”

Dean’s cheeks heat up. “I’m sorry, but-”

“But you’re a dumbass and a coward.”

Dean frowns. “You acted like it didn’t happen!”

“Well, maybe I too thought it was only thanks to the booze, but  _I didn’t try to get you drunk._ ”

“I’m sorry, okay!” Dean almost yells, “I didn’t know what to do! You acted like it didn’t happen but I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I just wanted to-”

“Shh, shh, Dean-” Dean realizes he’s breathing hard when Cas squeezes the back of his neck and scoots closer to him. “It’s okay, Dean, it’s okay.  Let’s admit we are both cowards and let’s have the talk we should have had a week ago.”

Dean nods calmed by Cas’ soothing tone.

“So did you like it?” Dean asks, voice weak.

“I did. You?”

Dean nods.

“And we both want to do it again,” Cas assumes.

Dean lets out a heavy breath. “I do…but-”

“But?”

“I’m not gay.” There it is, all the panic, all the self-doubt, Dean’s been hiding the whole time, concentrated into one sentence and submitted to Cas.

Cas huffs out a laugh. “Of course you’re not, Dean,” he moves his hand to cup his cheek. The simple touch filling Dean with calm, with the same relaxed bravery he felt that night, except this time without the booze.

“Then what does this mean?” Dean asks, trusting Cas to give him answers.

“There’s something called Kinsey scale. The zero means exclusively straight, the six exclusively gay. You’re probably somewhere between that and it’s totally natural.”

“And you?”

Cas cocks his head in contemplation. “Five probably.”

“So you-”

“I knew I liked cocks before I touched yours, yeah.”

Dean bursts out laughing, the atmosphere lightens and so does his heart. He stops laughing and looks Cas in the eyes. He takes a deep breath before saying the hardest thing.

“What if…what if it’s not cocks, what if it’s just you?”

Cas smiles. “That’s very flattering, Dean, but I don’t think it’s possible. I don’t encourage you to experiment on it though.”

“So you-”

“I like you, Dean,” Cas says raking his hand through Dean’s hair. “I always did, but I was okay with being just friends because I thought you weren’t interested in anything else.”

Dean leans into his touch and closes his eyes. “So what if I am now?”

“Hmm, then we should make out again. But this time we’re doing it right.”

Dean opens his eyes. “Doing it right?”

“Sober, in a comfortable position and I’m going to kiss you first.”

Dean’s heart skips a beat. He feels lightheaded, giddy.

“Alright,” he breathes out.

With a gentle smile, Cas cups his cheeks with his palm and presses his lips softly to Dean’s. Dean breathes in through his nose and wraps his arms around Cas’ waist. Chuckling against Dean’s lips, Cas moves to straddle Dean and then kisses him properly.

It’s hot and hungry and so good that Dean’s really happy he’s sober this time.


	8. just this once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there´s just one bed!, accidental cuddling, first kiss, bottom!dean, friends to lovers, canon compliant  
> [Originally posted here](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/181750048883/it-s-yourspecialeyes-special-day-so-i-wrote-a-fic)

"I’m sorry, we have a room, but there’s just one bed in it, " the clerk says not looking sorry at all.

Dean leans heavily on the desk. "I don’t care about sharing, I just need somewhere to sleep. Right now." The clerk nods hurriedly, looking a bit afraid of Dean.

 

The room is small but clear and indeed there’s just one bed.

"You use the bathroom first," Dean says dropping his duffle at the floor. Cas looks awful. This has been the hardest case they worked on since he turned human. To be honest, Dean insisted they won’t sleep in the car tonight mostly because of Cas. Not that his back won’t appreciate it. He’s getting old.

"Thank you, Dean," Cas says shrugging off his coat before he goes to the bathroom.

Dean sighs and drops himself on the bed. It’s hard not to fall asleep to the sound of the shower but he manages somehow.

Cas walks out a few minutes later looking much better - flushed, his wet hair sticking up in spikes. He’s adorable, one wouldn’t even guess he’s a former angel.

"You can pick a side," Dean says motioning to the bed. Cas stops and looks at the bed with consideration. "Does it matter?"

Dean chuckles. "It does to some people." He leaves him struggling with the oddities of being human and walks to the bathroom.

There’s not much hot water left but Dean’s still happy he decided to take the room instead of driving to another motel.

When he returns to the bedroom, Cas is buried under the covers, just his spiky head poking out, his face is illuminated by the little tv on the opposite wall.

"You aren’t sleepy?" Dean asks.

"I didn’t know what the etiquette is when it comes to sharing a bed, so I waited for you.

Dean chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. Bet on Cas to make things awkward.

"Just go to sleep," he says grabbing the remote lying on top of Cas’ blanket. He turns the tv off and gets under the covers. He feels Cas shifting and is suddenly too aware that they’re sharing a bed.

"Good night, Dean." Cas’ voice is just as deep and husky as always but for some reason, hearing it in the dark and so close sends a shiver down Dean’s spine.

"Good night." He squeezes his eyes shut and hopes exhaustion will win over uncomfortable thoughts.

 

He drifts back to consciousness gradually. The first thing he notices is how comfortable and warm he is. He feels safe, truly safe, for the first time in what feels like forever.

He shifts closer to the source of heat that the part of his brain that is fully awake already recognizes as a person. He wraps his arm tightly around what must be a muscular torso and nuzzles into a soft t-shirt. There’s a hum that vibrates through the chest Dean is lying on.

That pushes Dean a little bit further into the land of the awake. He’s curled next to a person, to a man, with a deep voice and familiar smell. He’s cuddled up to Cas.

Panic seizes his chest. He jerks away, fully awake at last.

Strong arms tighten around him. "No, Dean, please don’t." Cas’ voice is soft, but there’s a deep sadness in it.

Dean stills, deciding to ignore Cas’ embrace for a moment, and looks into Castiel’s face.

His eyes are soft but intent. "Don’t run away from this Dean, please. I can’t take this anymore."

It’s like a fist clenching around Dean’s heart. It’s suddenly hard to breathe, even harder to speak.

"What are you talking about."

Cas closes his eyes and shakes his head, disappointment clear on his face. His arms loosen around Dean, giving him a chance to escape. He doesn´t take it.

"I know you feel what I do, " Cas says, "I know you trust me, I know you want to be close to me. But you keep running away from me, running away from this." He runs his hand down Dean’s spine to emphasize that he means their current situation.

His palm is warm and the touch makes Dean melt against Castiel.

Castiel looks at him "Why are you running away?"

He’s looking at him in the way that makes Dean feel bare. It’s hard not to tell the truth, to spill your deepest secrets, when a pair of beautiful blue eyes is staring right into your soul.

Dean’s voice trembles, he has to push the words out with force. "Because I love you, alright?" He turns away, not able to look at Cas anymore.

"You are right! I love you like I never loved anyone and I’m scared! I’m horrified by what I feel towards you because I lost everyone I’ve ever loved! Fuck, I even lost you and it hurt like hell! It hurt worse than hell, I know something about it."

There’s prickling in his eyes and his hand has involuntarily gripped Castiel’s shoulder like he’s afraid Cas might disappear right now. "I just can’t get close to you, Cas. I can’t. Because if I do, when you leave again, I’d be torn apart."

"You won’t," Cas breathes out and pulls Dean back towards him.

Dean struggles halfheartedly. "No, Cas, please, I can’t." He can feel a traitorous tear running down his cheek.

"Dean, please," Cas shakes him a little, just enough to make him stop struggling and turn his face towards Cas.

It startles Dean to see Castiel’s eyes are wet too. "Dean, I understand what you are feeling. I do, I get it. But please, don’t tell me you can walk from this room just like this."

Dean suddenly notices their legs touching under the sheets, Cas’ hands on his body, Cas’ lips so close to his.

Cas looks satisfied like he reads Dean’s mind. "Just this once," it’s so soft it’s almost a whisper. Like Dean’s a skittish animal Cas doesn´t want to scare away. "Just for today, in this room, let’s pretend there's nothing standing between us. Just here, in this room, let’s be something more. I need it, Dean. I need you."

A sound that’s almost a sob breaks out of Dean’s mouth and then he’s pressing his lips to Castiel’s. Cas’ hand finds the back of his head. The kiss softens and deepens at the same time as Dean finally realizes what he’s doing and decides to go with it. 

They just kiss at first. Enjoying what they’ve been denying themselves for so long. Dean marvels at how natural it feels. As if all the time he’s kissed Cas in his dreams was real as if this was them kissing for a thousandth time not first. Castiel’s lips are soft and warm, the scratch of his stubble sends shivers through Dean’s body and his tongue is downright wicked.

They seem perfectly satisfied by just kissing, but then their hands start to wander. Cas lets out a soft grunt when Dean tugs a little at the long strands of his hair. Dean gasps when Cas’ hand slides under his shirt, calloused palm exploring heated skin. Dean feels encouraged to touch Cas too and before they know it, they get rid of their shirts and press against each other in nothing but their underwear.

"Oh," Dean gasps when Castiel’s lips close on his nipple. It feels so good to be touched like this that it’s hard to rein his reaction. His hips buck up on their own volition when he feels the bulge in Cas’ briefs brush against his thigh. Cas growls and grinds down against him. Dean stifles a cry, clawing desperately at Cas’ back, eliciting another growl from Cas.

Cas bites down gently on Dean’s neck before he whispers into Dean’s ear. "I held your soul in my hands when I rose you from hell." He uses the tone that always makes it hard for Dean to think straight. "I watched as your body mended together."

Dean moans and tries to rub his hard cock against Castiel‘s leg, but the former angel holds him down. It makes Dean’s cock twitch desperately.

"I think I loved you from that moment even though it took me a long time to realize it."

"Cas," Dean sighs over the tight feeling in his chest. He turns his head and presses his lips to Castiel’s. Cas indulges him for just a moment before he leans away and speaks again.

"I want to feel you again, Dean, every part of you. I want to feel you from the inside. I want to worship your body."

"Fuck, Cas," Dean throws his head back, baring his throat for Cas’ kisses. He feels so happy, so overwhelmed he might cry.

"Yes, Cas, please, I want it. Please."

Cas trails kisses downs Dean’s chest and stops to lavish his nipples with tender attention. Dean’s breath is coming in short bursts, his cock is already hard and achy. He’s not sure he can stand Cas doing this for long but he wants it. Oh god, does he want it. Every touch sets his skin alight, every softly spoken word makes him shiver.

"You are so beautiful, Dean, why didn’t I ever tell you? Your body matches your soul perfectly. Soft and yielding-" he says before pressing his lips to the pudge on Dean’s belly, which makes Dean huff. "But strong and powerful at the same time," Cas continues dragging his lips to Dean’s hip and thigh.

"Cas, oh god, please," Dean begs when Cas sucks a mark to his inner thigh.

"What is it, beloved, what do you want?"

Dean’s breath hitches in his throat at the endearment. He tries to push emotions away just long enough so he can speak.

"Touch my cock already or I’m going to lose my mind."

Laughing under his breath, Castiel straightens up and hooks his thumbs at the waistband of Dean’s boxers. He drags his underwear down and off his legs and drops it on the floor.

Then he stops to take a long look at Dean’s body. Dean feels suddenly vulnerable, lying there bared to Cas’ hungry gaze. But he trusts Cas and he wants this.

"Come on, Angel." The address makes Cas’ eyes darken. He runs his hands from Dean’s ankles up his shins and thighs, then he finally leans down and nuzzles at the base of Dean’s cock.

Dean moans long and dirty as he feels Cas´ tongue on his shaft and he has to grab at the sheets to will himself not to come when Cas wraps his mouth around the head of his cock.

"Oh yes, Cas!" He buries one hand in Cas’ hair, not to push, just to have another point of contact and scrapes lightly at Cas’ scalp. Castiel hums around Dean’s cock, it feels delightful. Then Cas starts to move his head up and down. Experimentally at first, then he gains confidence and finds a rhythm.

Dean lets himself get lost in the sensation. He doesn’t even realize he’s babbling incoherent nonsense. "So good, Cas, your mouth, so good, please,..."

He makes a disgruntled noise when Cas suddenly stops. At least he keeps his mouth on Dean, just moves from Dean’s cock to his balls. Dean startles a little when Cas pushes his knees up, bending him in half, but he lets himself be manhandled.

He’s rewarded by the wet touch of Cas’ tongue on his asshole.

"Cas!" he shouts, trying to shy away, but Cas holds him still.

"I said every part of you, Dean."

"But-" he’s breathing so heavily, his heart beating so fast, that he can’t speak.

"Is it uncomfortable, Dean? Don’t you like it?"

"No, I-" Dean feels the heat in his cheeks. It’s embarrassing. It´s too intimate. It´s something Dean never dared to ask from anybody. But he’d lie if he said he doesn't like it.

Cas gives him another moment, but when Dean doesn’t come up with a reasonable reply, he drags his tongue over Dean’s rim.

"I’m going to have a heart attack," Dean whispers before his words turn into a moan.

Cas licks him wet and loose. Then he pushes a wet finger in alongside the tip of his tongue, just teasing, but it still makes Dean gasp for air.

Then Cas straightens and slaps Dean´s thigh playfully.

"We need lubrication," he announces.

"In my duffle," Dean says, still breathless.

Cas raises a questioning eyebrow.

"Don’t ask and get it before I lose my nerve."

Cas goes for the bag and gets his underwear off at the same time. It’s rather comedic.

"You’re nervous?" he asks casually.

"Yeah," Dean sighs, "it’s been a while." Years since he’s been with a man, decades since he’s bottomed.

Holding the bottle of lube, Cas steps to the side of the bed and leans down to kiss Dean, just a peck. It’s so chaste it’s endearing.

"I’ll take it slow," he promises.

And he does. He prepares Dean carefully and thoroughly. Keeping him relaxed by kissing every part of him he can reach. He seems like he could stay at that for hours, like he’s perfectly satisfied by watching Dean writhe and moan.

"Cas, please. I want you. I’m ready."

Cas withdraws his hand and kisses Dean. He guides him to wrap his legs around his waist.

Dean squeezes his eyes shut when he feels Cas drag his cockhead over his hole, smearing the lube. Then he presses in. Slowly but surely invades the ring of muscle. There’s a burst of pain.

"Cas!" Dean cries out, grabbing Cas’ arm. Cas stills immediately. Dean opens his eyes wide and sees Cas’ face, flushed but gentle, blue eyes intent and loving.

"Dean, love, I want to make this good for you," he says softly. "But you have to let me. You have to relax for me and let me in."

"I-I can’t" Dean realizes he’s trembling, his muscles rigid.

Cas reaches out to touch Dean’s face. He brushes his fingers tenderly over Dean’s temple and cheek as he speaks. "Of course you can, beloved. We belong together, from the beginning. This is just our bond taking another form. I want nothing but give you pleasure, Dean."

"I want that too," Dean breathes. He closes his eyes and focuses more on Cas’ hand on his face than his cock in his ass. After a moment, he feels himself relax and Cas must feel it too because he starts pushing in.

"Just like that, Dean," he murmurs. He keeps petting Dean’s face as he gives little thrusts, each of them deeper. "You are so amazing, Dean, welcoming me like this. You feel so good, so hot and tight. I love being inside you, Dean."

Dean’s still trembling. The stretch and burn are still uncomfortable, but his blood is thrumming with arousal.

Then Cas finally gives the last push, his balls press against Dean’s asscheeks and he makes such an animalistic pleasured moan that Dean’s suddenly sure he would do anything to make him like this again and forever.

"How is it, Dean? Are you okay?"

"I can’t believe this," Dean answers truthfully. "I can’t believe we are really doing this. That you are inside me." He shifts his hips and feels a spark of pleasure. "I’ve been...oh god, I wanted this, I’ve been dreaming about this."

Cas kisses him like he wants to taste those words. He starts to move again. Slow and careful, but each thrust nourishes that spark until it’s a flame in Dean’s gut.

He holds onto Cas like his life depends on it. And maybe it does. Maybe Cas is right and this is just another form of what has been between the two of them for a long time.

"I love you," Dean moans into Cas’ ear. The words are suddenly more certain than before and they feel so big that he has to get them out of his chest. "I love you, I love you, Cas, fuck me, fuck me harder."

"Dean!" Cas wraps his hand around Dean’s cock, stroking him in sync with the fastening rhythm of his hips.

Every coherent thought leaves Dean’s mind as he's reduced to a moaning mess. The pleasure is overwhelming, each time Cas hits Dean’s prostate pushes him closer to the edge until it’s impossible to hold back. He comes with a broken sob of Cas’ name, digging his fingers into his shoulders as his whole body spasms with extasy. Cas fucks him through it to the point of oversensitivity.

He’s close himself, his muscles are trembling with strain, he’s grunting and moaning into the crook of Dean’s neck.

Dean runs both hands through his hair.

"Come inside me, Cas, come on, babe!"

Cas kisses him, sloppy and wet and amazing. Dean swallows his moans as Cas shudders spilling deep inside Dean.

They stay intertwined, basking in the afterglow. Dean rubs Cas’ back as Cas nuzzles at his neck.

"Dean," he whispers eventually. Dean opens his eyes and looks at him. "How do you feel?"

Dean huffs out a laugh and kisses Cas’ lips. He has no words to describe how he feels. There’s a storm of emotions, he’s more satisfied and happy than he’s been in years, but confusion and fear are creeping in.

"Like I gave you all of myself, body and soul, bare and vulnerable," he says, "and you treated it gently."

"Oh, Dean," Cas sighs, voice breaking with emotion. He pulls Dean closer.

They stay like that for a few more minutes. Then Cas kisses Dean’s forehead.

"We should clean up and get going."

"No," Dean mutters. "I want to stay longer."

He’s not ready to give this up, he’s not sure he ever will be.

"Dean, you know this doesn’t have to end here. I offered you we can do this then go back to how things were before, but if you change your mind, I’m in."

Dean draws away and pushes himself up on one elbow so he can scowl at Cas properly.

"You knew I wouldn’t be able to go back from this, didn’t you?"

Cas gives him an abashed smile. "I hoped, nothing more."

"You bastard," Dean barks, slapping Castiel’s shoulder. Cas grabs his wrist.

"Dean, I’m serious, this is all up to you. You want to ignore what happened and what’s between us, I promise you I will respect your wish. But if you want to continue-" he hesitates, "-nothing would make me happier."

Dean lets out a breath. He feels he’s been played, but he can’t be mad at Cas for this.

"Of course I want to continue, I want to kiss you all the time, and fuck every day and just... _be_ with you. I don’t want to hide and pretend anymore. But I don’t know if I can."

Cas moves his hand to intertwine their fingers. "Of course you can, because you’ll have me by your side."

Dean looks at the former angel, at the man who has nothing but trust and love for him for years and nods.

"Okay, Cas, let’s do this."

The smile Cas gives him is so bright it burns all lingering doubt.

 

 

 

 


	9. Strings Attached

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel loves his husband. They have a very happy marriage. One of the reasons why it´s so happy is that from time to time, Cas picks up a random guy and fucks him senseless, to blow off some steam.
> 
> Top!Cas, bottom!Dean, Dean in panties, slut calling, dom!Cas vibes (because I can´t help myself)
> 
> Big thanks to [casbean](http://casbean.tumblr.com/) for getting rid of my stupid mistakes  
> You can also find this fic on [tumblr](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/183366913973/strings-attached)

Castiel finds the hotel bar very pleasing. The music and lights are low, but the space doesn’t feel cramped like other bars often do. The atmosphere is intimate but not heavy. Castiel would be comfortable just sitting at the bar counter, sipping his cognac, but he would lie if he said he doesn't have bigger expectations for the night.

He loosens his tie, takes another sip and looks around. It’s mostly businessmen like himself, some of them in groups, some of them with female companions. He looks for those that are alone and doesn’t find anyone interesting. He doesn’t give up, the night has just started.

He orders another drink and chats with the bartender for a while. He turns when he hears somebody entering the room.

He doesn’t look like the others. He’s wearing dark jeans, a henley and a black leather jacket. Their eyes meet. Castiel feels lightning run down his spine. He turns away and smiles into his glass.

"Twice what he’s having," the stranger orders and takes the stool next to Castiel. Castiel bites back a smile. It didn’t take much. Just a few suggestive looks sent over his shoulder.

"Shouldn’t you ask if the place isn’t occupied?"

The man fakes a shocked expression and looks down at his stool. "I believe it is now. I’m Dean, by the way."

Castiel huffs out a laugh and takes the glass the bartender puts in front of him. Not pushing for his name, Dean does the same and takes a sip, pouting his full lips. He’s even more attractive up close.

"Hmm. You have good taste," he says after he swallows. Castiel tears his eyes off his lips. "But I prefer whiskey."

"I’d guess so."

A slight frown. "What do you mean?"

Castiel shrugs. "You just seem the type." The stubbled cheeks, chiseled jaw, the way he holds his broad shoulders. Everything is very meticulously gruff. It gives Castiel a feeling it might be just a front.

"Should I feel offended or flattered?"

The corner of Castiel’s lips twitches. "Let’s say you don’t look like the usual visitors of this place. And I find the usual crowd boring," he says gesturing with his hand holding the glass.

"This place isn’t just for white collars, is it?"

"No, of course not." It doesn’t change the fact that Dean looks a bit out of place. No, that’s not exactly true. Castiel has seen men like him at places is like this and he has a feeling Dean might actually be at work, looking for clients. Which would be a bummer. Castiel doesn’t like to pay for sex. He might make an exception tonight, though.

"So you’re staying at the hotel?" he asks.

"No. You?"

"I am."

Dean bites his lower lip. Castiel watches it and is filled with an urge to do the same. If he doesn’t get his hands on this man soon he might lose his mind.

Dean’s right hand, lying on the bar counter right next to Castiel’s left, moves. His pinky touches Castiel’s wedding band.

"Where does your wife think you are?" he asks in a low voice.

"My _husband_ thinks I’m at a conference," Castiel answers looking him in the eyes. His dilated pupils have almost swallowed all the color but Cas can still see some green. "Which is true. He just doesn’t know that if I wanted to, I would have been home by six," he adds.

"But you didn’t want to."

"Needed to blow off some steam." Cas moves his hand so their fingers intertwine. "What about you? Why are you here?"

Dean shrugs with a crooked smile. "Looking for a good night with no strings attached."

Castiel takes a moment to just look at him, take him in. The perfect curve of his lips, the splatter of freckles on the bridge of his nose, long lashes and green eyes that have a hungry look in them. Then he leans closer, so close his lips almost brush against Dean’s ear and he can smell his cologne.

"Well, I’m quite sure I can promise you that, my strings being already attached elsewhere."

He’s not sure but he thinks he notices a shiver running through Dean.

Dean leans away and Castiel is momentarily gripped by fear that he might have read the signals wrong or that he moved too fast.

He feels great relief when Dean throws back the rest of his drink, puts some cash on the counter and looks at him.

"Wanna show me your room?"

 

Castiel grabs the lapels of Dean’s jacket the moment the elevator door closes. Dean leans into the kiss eagerly. He tastes like cognac and opens his mouth, letting Cas take the lead. Castiel pushes him against the wall just to test his reaction. To his delight, Dean huffs out a breath but lets himself be manhandled. So the rough demeanor really was just a facade. With his lips not leaving Dean’s, Castiel pops the button of Dean’s jeans and reaches in. He freezes and looks down. There’s pink lace peeking from under the waistband.

"Well, that’s a surprise," he mutters.

"Do you mind?" Dean asks breathlessly.

"No, I like it," Cas assures him right when the elevator stops.

They get in Castiel’s room in record time. Castiel realizes he’s shaking with excitement when he drops the key card. Dean lifts it with a chuckle and opens the door while kissing Cas.

They stumble in. Castiel reaches for the zipper of Dean’s jeans to finish what he started but Dean stops him by placing a firm hand on his chest. Castiel looks up, uncertainty stopping the blood in his veins for a second time.

"Turn the light on. I wanna see you," Dean whispers. Castiel lets out a breath and reaches around Dean for the switch. When light floods the room Dean is staring at him.

"What?" Cas asks with a smile. Dean looks stricken and he likes it.

Dean reaches his hand up and touches Cas’ face. "Your lips are incredible," he says, thumb brushing Cas’ lower lip.

Castiel sucks the thumb into his mouth and watches Dean’s eyes darken. He lets go of it with a wet sound.

"Do you want to fuck my mouth?" he asks dropping his voice low. Dean’s lips part. He nods before he finds his speech. "Yes, fuck yes."

With a soft chuckle, Castiel shrugs his jacket off and throws it over a chair standing in the corner. Dean follows suit and when he’s rid of his jacket, Castiel pushes him into the center of the room and drops to his knees. He grabs the waistband of Dean’s pants and pulls them down. His mouth waters at the sight.

Dean’s not only wearing panties, but he’s gone the whole nine yards - garter belt and stockings.

"Beautiful," Cas breathes out as he runs his hands down Dean’s hips and legs to feel the soft material.

Dean is taking measured breaths looking down at him. His cock is already straining the pink lace. Castiel outlines it with his lips, rubs his face against the lace, feeling the flesh under it stir and harden.

Dean’s hand lands on his head, fingers tangling in his hair softly.

He moans when Cas’ tongue touches the cockhead peeking from the top of his underwear.

Castiel pulls the panties down, just over the curve of Dean’s ass and lets them sit on Dean’s thighs.

He keeps teasing Dean with tender fingers, lips and tongue barely brushing skin. Dean doesn’t protest, just bites his lips and keeps staring down at him. He gasps when Castiel finally wraps his lips around the tip and sucks hard. He runs his tongue over the slit before taking him deeper. He bobs his head a few times then he makes a delighted sound and looks up. Dean’s eyes are closed but he opens them when he realizes Castiel’s not moving.

Cas gives him an encouraging nod. Dean moves his hips experimentally, a tentative shallow thrust. Castiel moans approvingly. Dean gains confidence with every thrust. He keeps a gentle hand on the side of Castiel’s head as he sets a rhythm.

Castiel closes his eyes and focuses on breathing through his nose and keeping his throat relaxed. He doesn’t need to see Dean to know he’s slowly losing himself. He can hear it in the soft grunts and hitched breath, he can feel his thrusts getting sharper, deeper. And he loves it. He loves to be the one to make Dean feel like this. It makes his blood boil in his veins and his pants are feeling uncomfortably tight.

It doesn’t take long for Cas to notice the bitter taste of precome, the failing rhythm. Dean’s hand slides into his hair and tugs a little.

"I’m gonna..." he warns but he seems unable to stop.

Castiel grabs his hips with both hands to prevent him from pulling away, just in case.

Dean makes a sound that might be a protest but at the same time pushes his cock deep into Cas’ mouth. Castiel doesn’t hold back a moan, he digs his fingers into Dean’s skin and feels him shake a little as he comes.

Cas makes sure to suck him to the last drop and swallow everything down. When he pulls off and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, Dean has a wonderfully stunned expression on his face, almost as if Cas sucked his brains out through his dick.

All Castiel needs to do is push a little and Dean stumbles backward, trips on his pants bundled around his ankles and falls on the bed with little to no dignity. Castiel tries not to laugh, instead, he busies himself with getting rid of Dean’s shoes, socks, and pants. When he climbs on the bed and straddles him, Dean seems to have his mental capacity back. He grins down at Cas and tries to pull him closer. Castiel bats his hand away and focuses on the garter belt. He unhooks it from the stockings so he’s able to pull down Dean’s panties, then he carefully hooks it back. Dean is watching him with a puzzled look. Castiel finally leans down, pressing him into the mattress. He bunches the panties in his fist in front of Dean’s face.

"I’m keeping these," he says and pushes them into his back pocket. Dean’s eyes are wide, he licks his lips.

"What if your husband finds them?" he asks, voice strained.

Castiel smiles. "I’ll tell him I bought them for him," he answers and leans even closer to Dean’s face. "Might make him wear them. Think about you as I fuck him."

"You fucker," Dean breathes out and pulls Cas in for a hard kiss. Castiel lets him lick his own taste from his mouth.

When Dean starts to tug at his clothes, Castiel lets him. As he watches Dean pull off his tie, he toys with some ideas of creative ways to use it, but before he makes up his mind, the tie is tossed on the floor.

Dean stops after he opens Castiel’s shirt to kiss at his clavicle and pinch his nipple. Cas hisses, growing impatient, and pushes Dean back down on the mattress. "Turn over," he orders.

He uses the moment it takes Dean to roll on his belly and get comfortable to kick off his shoes. Then he turns his focus to Dean again.

He starts by kneading the tense muscles of his shoulders and back. Dean moans into the pillows. Castiel moves lower, running his hands down his sides and hips. He takes a moment to appreciate the sight the garter belt makes snug on Dean’s body. He kneads Dean’s firm buttcheeks before pulling them apart and humming appreciatively.

"Look at your pretty hole," he murmurs before brushing a dry finger over it. Dean jerks a little at the sensation, Castiel can feel the tightening of muscles under his hands. He gathers saliva in his mouth, leans down and spits right on Dean’s hole smearing it with his finger, pushing it inside.

Dean moans and tries to push himself up on his hands and knees, but Castiel holds him down with his unoccupied hand.

"Be patient, sweetheart," he says and presses a kiss to the small of Dean’s back. He reaches under the bed for his open suitcase to get lube and a condom, one hand still touching Dean. He keeps rumbling reassurance. "I promise I’ll give it to you so good, Dean."

He pours lube into his palm and gets his fingers and Dean’s hole slick before pushing in.

"I’m gonna fuck you so hard, so deep you’ll feel it for days."

Dean moans, clenching his fists in the sheets.

"You’re going to return home thinking of me with every step you take."

"Yes, oh fuck, yes," Dean growls, pushing his hips down on Cas’ fingers.

"But you need to be patient. I don’t want to hurt you."

He hears a deep sight leaving Dean’s lungs and feels him relax a little.

"Just like that," he whispers and eases a third finger in.

"I knew this, knew the moment I saw you entering the bar," he says massaging Dean’s lower back as he keeps stretching him open, "I saw that big rough guy but knew you were just a little cockslut. So eager to get filled by a stranger’s cock, aren’t you?"

Dean replies with moans, robbed of the ability to form a coherent sentence by Castiel’s fingers brushing his prostate.

Castiel pulls his fingers out to Dean’s protests and grabs the condom laying on the bed. His cock is hard and straining his pans. He lets out a relieved sigh when he frees it. He puts the condom on, regretting for a brief moment that he can’t feel Dean bare on his cock, that he can’t come deep inside him.

He smears some lube on himself and aligns with Dean’s hole. He pushes in, just the head breaching Dean’s rim and nothing more. Dean moans softly but it turns into a growl when Cas pulls out. He does it again, not giving Dean more than the first time and again and again, watching Dean’s rim stretching around the deep red head of his cock glistening with lube. He keeps teasing him until Dean cries out a desperate: "Please!"

"What? I didn’t hear you."

"Please, please, fuck! Give it to me, please!" he begs, twisting so he can look at Cas over his shoulder.

Castiel grins at him. "So pretty when you beg."

He pushes in. The sound Dean makes mixes with his own groan. He stops when he feels Dean tighten and gives them both a moment to breath.

"You okay?"

"Yes," Dean breathes out.

Cas pulls back a little, then thrusts in deeper and deeper still until his hips are flush with Dean’s butt.

"Still good?" he asks leaning down to kiss the back of Dean’s neck. Dean nods.

"You’re so big. I’ve never... I’ve never felt so full with anybody else."

Castiel smiles nuzzling at Dean’s jaw. "I told you that you won’t forget me."

Dean chuckles breathlessly.

Castiel gives a few slow rolls of his hips, just getting used to the delightful tight heat of Dean’s body. Then he straightens up and pulls at Dean’s hips, he keeps him steady as Dean pushes himself up on his hands and knees.

Then he finally starts to fuck him in earnest. He realizes how long he’s been holding back when he first slams into him and he just takes him the way he promised, the way he knows Dean wants - hard and deep.

Dean’s just as vocal as Cas hoped he would be - moaning and crying out with each thrust with occasional slurred profanity. Damned be all the unlucky people sharing walls with them.

The problem with fucking like this is that the more he takes the more he wants. He wants to feel more of Dean, he wants to hear more of those filthy sounds, he wants to wrack his willing body entirely.

He loosens his vice-tight grip on Dean’s hips, probably leaving bruises, just to pull Dean up until he’s kneeling. Dean obeys easily, reading his intentions. He arches his back, leaning against Cas’ chest, throws back his head to let it rest on Cas’ shoulder.

And that’s it, that’s the perfect position. Dean exposed like this so Castiel can touch him, can slide his hands up and down his beautiful body, can tease his nipples until Dean sobs, can stroke his leaking cock.

He fucks him like that and Dean meets each thrust eagerly. He turns his head to catch Cas’ lips. Their eyes meet and the ecstatic look in Dean’s eyes makes Castiel’s heart stutter.

He strokes him faster, pushes a little deeper. He feels Dean’s muscles starting to tremble. He’s close himself, feeling like he’s going to burst. His heart is frantic in his chest pressed tight against Dean and the fire in his loins is quickly growing unbearable.

He tightens his hands around Dean trying to last just a moment more but it’s too much.

He presses his lips to where Dean’s neck meets his shoulder trying to muffle his moans against his skin. Dean’s shaking in his arms but he keeps pushing himself back on Cas’ cock, driving him crazy.

With a particularly hard thrust, Dean’s breath hitches and he clamps down on Cas as his orgasm rips through him.

Castiel doesn’t realize what he’s doing when he closes his teeth on Dean’s skin, biting down hard.

"Fuck, Cas!" Dean cries and Castiel lets go. It feels like lightning hitting him, it’s almost painful in its intensity. He has barely any control of his body as he gives little shallow thrust, emptying himself deep inside Dean who’s trembling himself with waves of pleasure, his come hot over Castiel’s hand.

Cas holds him tight through it and only lets them both collapse when the sparks behind his eyelids disappear.

He has enough wit left to get rid of the condom and wipe his come-covered hand before he pulls Dean back into his arms. Dean wraps himself around him. But he seems boneless, perfectly relaxed and Cas can’t help but find pride in making him like this.

He kisses him slow and deep.

They bask in the afterglow for a few long minutes.

"Stay, I’ll drive you home in the morning," Cas suggests when he feels consciousness slipping off his fingers.

Dean shakes his head. "I have to go." He kisses Cas’ lips for the last time before wriggling out of his embrace. "Can I use the bathroom?"

"Of course."

Castiel drifts off to the sound of running water but wakes up just when Dean opens the room’s door.

"Drive safe," he mutters. He can see Dean’s soft smile.

"Sleep tight."

 

Castiel’s heart swells when he pulls up behind his husband’s car in front of their beautiful house. The dogs come to greet him and he has to scratch their ears for them to allow him to get through the front yard.

"I’m home!" he calls when he enters.

"Daddy!" little Mary squeals somewhere in the house. He manages to get his coat off before she barrels to the hall and wraps her arms around his middle.

"Hello, darling. How have you been?" he asks as he picks her up. She gives him a smacking kiss before she answers.

"Good! Did you know Theodore Roosevelt had a pet hyena?"

"No, I didn’t know that! How do _you_ know?"

"Uncle told me."

"Oh, I see. Did you two have a good time?"

"Yeah! We made pizza from scratch!"

"Amazing! You are both so skilled. Is he still here?"

"No, he left when I was sleeping," she says sounding a bit sad but a moment later she brightens up. "Dad’s making pancakes!"

"Great! Let’s go to the kitchen then. We can steal some before he serves them and make him do that funny face of his."

"Yes!" she squeals and bounces in his arms.

He puts her down when they enter the kitchen.

His husband smiles at him, pan in hand, a green apron around his hips. "Hey, babe."

Castiel smiles back. "Hi," he greets and leans against the counter where the plate full of fresh pancakes lays. He snatches one and hands it to their daughter who runs off giggling and hides behind the breakfast island.

Castiel bites back a laugh when he sees the disgruntled pout on his husband’s lips.

"You’re here early," he says putting another pancake on a stash.

Castiel steps closer and wraps his arms around him from behind, he feels his beloved lean into him and a flashback of the last night makes his insides tingle.

"I couldn’t wait to be back with you," he murmurs and presses a soft kiss to the red and purple bite mark peeking from his husband’s neckline.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in the same AU as the previous chapter but can be read as a standalone
> 
> Dean´s POV, established relationship - married, role-playing, top!Dean, bottom!Cas, topping from the bottom  
> You can also find this on [tumblr](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/183481819993/a-sequel-to-strings-attached-but-can-be-read-as-a). I´ll be grateful for every reblog.

They started the tradition years ago when Mary was two. Their lives fell into a tedious routine of going to work and taking care of the kid. They barely had time for each other. Their sexual life was reduced to quickies with one eye looking for the toddler waking up. They did it out of a sense of duty more than passion. They were both tired and stressed and the tension grew. Their marriage was dying. It escalated one night with a huge fight. Castiel had left to spend the night in a hotel. He was drinking himself numb when Dean appeared with an apology on his lips.

"Hey, handsome, is this seat taken?" he asked. Castiel was staring at him for a long moment and Dean could read in his eyes all the regret and hurt their fight caused. And all Dean wanted was to erase it, erase all the stress, all the struggle. At that moment he wanted to take back time and meet Cas for the first time again. So when Cas nodded and ordered a drink for him, Dean said: "I’m Dean by the way."

He wasn’t even that surprised when his husband played along with an amused spark in his eyes. They were a good team after all.

They do it once a month. Either Sam or Charlie is always willing to babysit for the night.

All they do is set a time and place, everything else is a surprise. Sometimes they use fake names, sometimes not. Sometimes Cas is all suave and makes Dean drool in five minutes, other times he plays coy and lets Dean seduce him. They try different roles, Dean’s been a hooker a few times, Cas surprised him by wearing a police uniform once.

They try to stay in character until the end and don’t talk about it when they meet back home.

It works perfectly. Their sex is so good, the hype lasts for days and when they don’t have time for each other, the memories help to keep the spark of their relationship bright. Sometimes, when they have time and their next session is still far away, they talk about the last one. Re-tell the story to each other.

Overall it’s the best idea they ever had and Dean loves the tradition.

He likes to wear something special for their special night but today he didn’t have time. Mary found a secret stash of candy and ate too much of it. She wasn’t puking anymore when Dean was leaving, but he still felt guilty. Sam had to basically push him out of the door.

So he’s sitting in his car in his casual clothes hoping he doesn’t smell of puke and he’s not feeling very adventurous.

He checks the note Cas has left him. It was his turn today to choose the location. Dean frowns at the GPS coordinates on the note then at his phone. It seems like Cas wants to meet him at a gas station right outside the town which is kinda weird. It also reminds Dean of the one night they met in a bikers’ club and Cas fucked him in a bathroom stall after Dean beat him at the pool.

He smiles for himself as he pulls off by the gas station and startles when there’s a knock on the window.

He rolls down the window and his heart skips a beat when a man leans down to grin at him.

"Hello, handsome, looking for some company?" if not for his trademark husky voice, Dean would barely recognize his husband.

His hair is disheveled more than usual and he’s there’s slightly smudged eyeliner framing his insanely blue eyes. He’s wearing a black coat with fluffy fur lining. It’s open at the chest so Dean can see that there’s a black see-through top under it. It’s so short that Cas’ belly is bare, his sharp hipbones peeking over the waistband of his tight leather pants.

Cas clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when Dean forces himself to look in his face. "Ugh, yeah." Dean splutters as he realizes he didn’t answer. Cas shoots him a bright grin and walks around the front of the car which gives Dean a chance to take in the outrageous outfit. The pants are very tight and laced at the sides. There’s skin peeking through.

Cas opens the door and slips to the passenger seat. His smell floods the car’s interior. It’s not Cas’ cologne, it’s sweeter, heady.

Cas splays himself on the seat, his body on display, and points towards a parking lot a little further from the gas station. Dean, still shellshocked, drives there and stops in a dark spot. There’s a truck parked nearby but the driver is either away or sleeping.

Dean turns towards Cas. His heart is beating so hard in his chest it’s almost painful. Castiel gives him another lazy grin and Dean thinks he deserves an Oscar because this person right here has very little in common with his husband.

"So, what will it be?" Cas asks, running his hand down his body seductively. It’s worse than if he was naked. The sheer material of his top and the fur make him look lascivious. "Fifty for my mouth, double for my ass."

Dean chokes on air. "I-I-" he stutters as he grabs his wallet. He looks in and finds a 100 dollar bill that he’s sure wasn’t there before. He feels air rushing out of his lungs and gets it back in a huge gulp.

When he hands the bill to Cas, he notices his nails are painted black. Castiel grins at him as he shoves the money into the pocket of his ugly coat. "You won’t regret."

Dean’s sure about that. What he’s not sure about is that he’ll survive this night. He already feels like he’s going to black out any minute. There’s a fine line between surprise and shock and his husband crossed the line by miles with his plan tonight.

Stunned, Dean watches as Cas shucks his coat, revealing his muscular arms. There’s a tattoo on one shoulder. It must be fake but Dean still gapes at it. At least until he realizes that Castiel is wriggling out of his pants. And he’s going commando.

The blood that has been high in Dean’s cheeks suddenly rushes south and Dean almost faints.

With his pants on the floor, cock half hard between his legs, Castiel turns towards Dean and rubs his thigh.

"Relax," he mutters and nuzzles at Dean’s neck.

Dean huffs out a breath and squeezes his eyes shut. He shivers when Castiel’s hand moves from his thigh to his crotch, rubbing Dean through his jeans. Skilled fingers pop the button open and pull down the zipper.

"Well, hello," Cas purrs as he wraps his hand around Dean’s cock, stroking him to full hardness.

Dean watches Cas’ hand, the painted nails making it look unfamiliar.

"I’m gonna need some help here," Cas says tugging at Dean’s pants. Dean obediently lifts his butt off the seat and together they pull his jeans down to his knees. It’s a bit awkward and he bangs his elbow on the door, but Cas’ chuckle makes the atmosphere lighter.

Castiel pulls a condom seemingly out of nowhere and is about to tear it open with his teeth when Dean stops him by grabbing his hand.

"Ditch it," he says surprising himself.

Cas narrows his eyes and cocks his head considering Dean for a long moment.

"It will be extra," he says at last.

"I’ll give you fifty," Dean blurts out.

"Deal," Cas says and the condom disappears.

The condoms are a way to make it real, to make them feel like real strangers, but tonight Dean can’t bear it and he’s happy Cas agreed.  It also makes the whole ordeal feel dirtier and Dean’s sure dirty is what Cas has aimed for tonight.

He snaps out of his thoughts when Cas moves to straddle him and Dean thanks God the Impala is big enough for that.

Dean grabs Cas’ hips automatically and digs his fingers into the skin when he realizes his hands are shaking.

It’s not like Cas doesn’t ever bottom, they are just both more comfortable with the positions reversed. Cas mostly bottoms when Dean can’t for some reason and Dean makes sure he always enjoys it. This, though, is utterly new. Cas in this role, letting Dean _use_ him.

Dean suddenly feels uncertain so he does the only thing that always anchors him. He leans in for a kiss. Cas pushes against his chest to stop him.

"Uh-uh," he shakes his head. "Kissing’s not included."

There’s a tingle running through Dean’s spine. "I’ll pay extra," he growls.

"No. It’s simply not on the menu." Cas’ eyes are hard as he says it. And Dean _finally_ feels himself slip into the role.

He runs his hands over the firm globes of Cas’ ass and then reaches his hole. Something twists in his gut as he feels that Cas is wet and loose.

His shock must be clear on his face because Cas gives him a smug smile.

"It’s been a busy night."

Dean knows it’s a lie. He knows Cas must have prepped himself. But part of his brain doesn’t know this is just a game, that part supplies him with a plethora of images of Cas getting fucked by strangers.

There’s something dark burning in his belly. He grabs Cas’ hip and positions his cock at Cas’ hole.

Cas pushes down as Dean thrusts up.

Dean moans, gripping Cas tighter. He expects him to give them both time to catch their breath but Cas starts rocking his hips in a merciless rhythm.

Dean throws his head back and presses the back of his palm against his own lips to muffle the sounds that are fighting their way out of his mouth, afraid that he might attract unwanted attention. The thought, though, makes his heart beat faster, which at this point, means painfully fast.

He’s enjoying this so much - the way Cas moves on top of him, his hard cock smacking Dean’s belly obscenely, the way Cas is tight around him, the breath that comes punched out of his mouth with each thrust. He didn’t expect to love this so much, he loves being on the receiving side of this, loves being filled, loves feeling his husband moving inside him. But this is different than any time he’s ever topped. Because it’s Cas, Cas looking like a whore, Cas who did everything to make this new and interesting for both of them, Cas who’s still in charge despite their roles being flipped. It’s Cas apparently enjoying himself as much as Dean.

Embarrassingly soon, Dean’s on the verge of falling apart. He wraps his hand around Cas’ cock, finding it wet with precome. He gains himself a filthy moan from Cas who starts to move with even more vigor, pushing himself down on Dean’s cock and thrusting into his palm, chasing pleasure almost frantically, pushing them rapidly to the edge.

Dean uses his free hand to get leverage and starts lifting his hips off the seat, meeting Cas thrust for thrust.

The windows are steamed-up and the car is rocking like in a cheesy movie but neither of them cares.

And then Castiel’s back arches and clamps down around Dean as he shoots ropes of white on Dean’s belly. His inner muscles squeeze Dean so tight his vision blackens at the edges and he comes almost painfully hard.

They are still moving, but it’s an involuntary movement of their bodies dealing with the impact of the pleasure while their minds are being shattered.

 

With his eyes shut and his breathing evening out, Dean’s enjoying the feeling of Cas still warm and wet around him, his head resting on Dean’s shoulder, his back warm under Dean’s palm moving up and down along his spine. Dean’s whole body is buzzing pleasantly and all the troubles of the day are blown away.

He’s disappointed when Cas starts to move. He makes a disgruntled sound when he pushes up and Dean’s cock slips out of him with a squelching sound.

"What a mess," he murmurs under his breath.

Dean reaches into the glove compartment and produces wet wipes. Perks of having a six-year-old - you’re always prepared for a mess.

He grabs a few to clean the jizz on his abdomen and hands the rest to Cas who takes it with a grateful smile and cleans himself.

"You owe me a fifty," he says as he pulls up his pants.

Dean huffs but he pulls the bill out of his wallet and holds it up with two fingers.

Cas snatches it with a bright grin. His cheeks are flushed, his forehead sweaty, his eyeliner looks even more smudged than before. Dean wants to commit the sight of him into his memory.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you," Cas says and leans in to press a kiss to Dean’s cheek.

As Dean watches him, stunned, Cas grabs his coat and gets off the car. He disappears in the darkness.

Dean gives himself a few long minutes to sort himself out. Replaying the whirlwind that was this meeting in his mind.

He’s snapped out of his reverie by his phone buzzing. It’s a text from Cas telling him to stop at the grocery store. Dean huffs out a laugh, checks himself in the rearview mirror and starts the engine.

 

There’s a point after each of their session when Dean’s stupid brain gets confused and his feelings get all messed up because he feels as if he actually cheated on his husband. It’s usually just a brief moment when he gets home and it’s dispelled when something reminds him that it was really Cas there with him doing the dirty.

Dean enters the house, grocery bags in his arms, and follows the voices into the living room. Sam and Cas are sitting on the couch, Mary between them wearing her PJ’s and a mermaid tail blanket. She’s the first one to notice him.

"Dad!"

"Hey, sweetie. How are you?"

"She asked for a candy bar, so I guess she’s feeling better," Cas answers in her place. Dean chuckles.

"I guess she didn’t get the candy bar."

Mary makes a face and looks down into the bowl in her hands. "No," she sighs.

Sam nudges her shoulder. "But the Winchester tomato rice soup is good too, isn’t it?"

"Yeah. But I won’t have to eat it forever, right?"

They all burst into laughter except the kid.

"Don’t worry, there will be candy bars soon," Cas assures her and gets up.

He takes a bag from Dean’s arms. His nails are painted black. Butterflies flutter their wings in Dean’s insides.

He follows his husband into the kitchen.

"Sam is staying for dinner. I’ll make mushroom risotto." Cas says as he starts putting the groceries away.

"Yeah, great," Dean says, putting ice-cream into the freezer. Mary hates mushrooms, but she has her soup.

When Dean closes the freezer and straightens up, he notices Cas staring at him. The eyeliner is gone and he made an effort to tame his unruly hair, but his look is just as dark and hungry as it’s been in the car.

With two quick strides, Dean’s in his personal space. Cas doesn’t lose a beat, he grabs the back of Dean’s neck with both hands and kisses him.

Dean has to once again admit that his husband is a genius because the kiss is made incredibly intense by the fact that he was denied it before.

Dean pulls away to take a deep breath and look take Cas in.

"I hope you spend the money wisely," he whispers before pulling Cas closer and kissing him again.

 


	11. Made for each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends to lovers, a/b/o dynamics, mating cycles, coming of age  
> originally on [tumblr](https://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/184511067393/made-for-each-other)

When Dean Winchester presented as omega, it was a shock. His father didn’t say it out loud but he had expected his firstborn son to be an alpha and the disappointment hit him hard. The rest of Dean’s family and his friends were supportive but they were surprised as well. They knew Dean as the brash, loud kid who got into fights and always had his knees scratched from climbing trees and running around the neighborhood. They didn’t see him as a soft, caring omega.

Dean himself wasn’t surprised, he was devastated. Not because of his father’s disappointment, not because of his mother’s worried looks, not because of the lewd comments he started to get at school. The reason was Castiel Novak.

Cas has been Dean’s best friend ever since he can remember. With the Novaks living next door, the boys grew up together. They were joined in the hip, inseparable and Dean thought they would be like that forever.

He thought about Cas as his future mate from the moment he learned what it means to be mated. They didn’t talk about it, because in Dean’s mind, it wasn’t necessary. They would just wait to come of age and get mated. It never occurred to him it could be any different. Until the day his body betrayed him.

He ran to his mother as if he was a little boy again. He thought it was just some illness giving him a fever, making his guts feel strange. When he realized what it actually was, he sobbed. His mother was running her hand through his hair as he was soaking his underwear with slick. It meant he was an omega and his dream was ruined because there was no chance in hell his best friend, his sweet, demure Castiel would present as an alpha.

Dean couldn’t look him in the eyes for weeks. He knew it wasn’t Castiel’s fault, it was nobody’s fault. It was just Nature hating him. Castiel hadn’t present yet but there was no doubt that once he would, it would be as an omega. The only thing Dean could do was learn to live with the fact they would never be anything more than friends.

He managed. Cas was too precious to him to avoid him forever. Dean got over it. He even accepted himself as an omega. The heats were annoying without an alpha but he enjoyed the idea of having pups one day. Maybe there was a soft side of him all along, he just never let himself cherish it. Now he was allowed to do it. He was allowed to watch chick flicks and buy pretty things and play with kids and show his emotions and he liked it.

When alphas approached him, though, he always rejected them, still unable to imagine himself with anyone but Cas.

* * *

 

They are lying on Castiel’s bed in comfortable silence. Dean’s on his phone, Cas is reading his astronomy book, pretending to be taking notes but every time Dean looks, Cas is just doodling idly, obviously lost in thoughts that may or may not be about astronomy. Dean doesn’t ask him about it, Cas has been off all day and they almost got into a fight, so Dean doesn’t want to risk triggering his bad mood again. It doesn’t worry him too much, at their age everybody’s moody all the time.

"What’s it like?" Cas says at last and it feels as if he’s popped a bubble that was separating them.

Dean pushes his phone away and looks at his friend. "What?"

"What does it feel like?" Cas repeats, eyes still glued to his notebook. "To be in heat."

Dean freezes. A wave of sadness rushes over him. That’s it then. That’s why Cas has been off. Dean remembers being like that. Cas is going into heat. Dean feels the last spark of hope die in his chest as his fate is going to be sealed. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is Cas who’s going into heat for the first time and he must be scared if he asks Dean such a question.

"It’s weird, but nothing you can’t get used to," Dean replies.

Cas nods. "But what does it feel like? Exactly?"

Dean frowns. It’s hard to describe something like that but he can try if it’s going to help Cas.

"It starts with a fever almost like a cold.  But everything gets sharper - colors, sounds, smells, especially smells, but touch too. After a while I get so hot and so oversensitive I can't stand to have my clothes on. And there’s the need. It’s like... almost like hunger like there’s an empty place inside you and you need to fill it and it’s the only thing you can focus on," Dean explains in a low voice. He’s playing with the comforter he’s sitting on, his heart is beating faster and his cheeks are all warm as he’s trying to recall every detail. "Oh and the slick, it’s gross, but it’s not like if you shit yourself it’s just... it goes with the need. For me, it’s part of being turned on now. So you are hard and wet and everything is too bright and too loud and _too much_ and all you need is a cock." He shrugs a little. "I usually fuck myself with a dildo, but it only helps a little. I guess it’s different with a mate around. It might even feel good. You know, because you need it so much and you get it." He lets himself imagine it. Being so hot and bothered and feeling the terrible emptiness and then an alpha pushing into him, giving him what he wants. He shifts a little as a drop of slick soaks into his briefs.

He hears a low growl.

Startled, he looks up and only realized Cas has been very silent during his speech, when he sees him sitting there with eyes shut, his hands balled into fists. There’s a weird smell coming off him.

"Cas? You okay?"

"You need to go," Cas growls.

Not knowing what he’s done wrong, Dean shifts closer, trying to reach for Cas.

Cas gasps and opens his eyes. They are red.

Dean flinches away and drops his outstretched arm. Cas bows his head. Dean’s eyes follow the movement and slide down his body to his crotch with a prominent bulge. He has to bite his lip against a moan.

"Dean, please, go away," Cas whispers. The shame in his tone makes Dean’s chest ache.

"Cas, you’re-" Dean’s mind is utterly confused, stuck between shock and joy and worry. His body, though, knows exactly what it wants and shows it with more slick.

Cas looks up, eyes blue and intense, begging. "Dean, please, you need to leave or I’m gonna... I don’t wanna do anything..."

"What if I want it?" Dean blurts out before his mind can catch up on his mouth.

Cas’ mouth falls slack. "Do you?" he breathes out.

"Of course, Cas!" Dean huffs out a little laugh. This time when Dean reaches out to grab his hand, Cas doesn’t stop him. "I always wanted this! I dreamed about this, but then I... I thought we weren’t compatible and it broke my heart but now-" he gestures between them. "You’re an alpha! We can be together like this we-" he trails off and loosens his grip on Cas’ hand. He feels the blood leaving his face as the realization hits him.

"But you don’t want this." He draws his hand away but Cas catches it.

"Do I look like I don’t want you?"

Dean shakes his head. "But you only want it because you’re going into a rut. You’d fuck anybody right now."

Cas tugs at Dean’s hand and uses it to draw him closer.

"Don’t be stupid, Dean," he growls. His other hand lands heavily on the back of Dean’s neck. "I’ve been in love with you ever since I met you."

Dean lets out a relieved breath but before he can inhale again, hot lips are pressed to his.

It’s wonderful. Cas’ lips are soft and warm and he kisses like he’s been waiting for it all his life, which might be true. Dean loses himself in the kiss, in the way their lips fit together and their tongues slide wetly against each other, in the feeling of Cas drawing him closer and closer. Then Cas draws away like it’s the hardest thing he’s ever done. His chest is heaving as he looks Dean in the eyes.

"Dean, tell me you really want this because if I... I know I won’t be able to stop."

Dean wants to laugh his doubts off, but he notices Cas’ whole body is shaking. He wraps his arms around his shoulders and hugs him tightly.

"I want it, Cas, I really want it, you must smell how much I want it." He feels Cas taking a deep breath against his neck and his body stiffens. He lets out a low growl. Dean squeezes him tighter. "I got you, Cas. It´s gonna be alright. Come on, Alpha, let’s do this."

Dean gasps for breath as he’s pushed down on his back. He knows his eyes are gold. Castiel’s eyes are almost shining red as he grabs the waistband of Dean’s pants and drags them down Dean’s legs. Dean pulls his own t-shirt over his head and turns on his belly. He hears the rustling of clothes as he pushes himself on his hands and knees. Then there are warm hands on his hips.

"Dean," it’s a moan, it’s a plea.

"Yes, Cas, please. I want you." As a prove to his words a drop of slick runs down to his balls and Cas catches it with his tongue, making Dean cry out with surprise. He bites his lips to stifle his moans as he feels Cas’ tongue pushing against his wet hole, tasting him like he’s been starving and Dean’s the only thing that can keep him alive.

"Cas!" Dean shouts when it’s too much and not enough at the same time. "Cas, please! Alpha!"

Cas’ tongue disappears and is exchanged with something else. It takes Dean a moment to realize it’s the head of Cas’ cock being dragged against his rim, spreading Dean’s slick.

Cas pushes in and Dean’s unable to keep his moans contained. Castiel stills, his hands run gently up Dean’s sides in a silent inquiry.

"I’m okay," Dean breathes out. "I’m good, keep going."

There’s a warm kiss pressed to his spine before Cas pushes in deeper. This time Dean’s sounds don’t stop him from filling him more and more with each small thrust.

It’s so much better than fucking himself with a dildo. Cas is warm and alive and he growls softly when he bottoms out inside Dean’s body wrapping his arms around him and holding on for dear life.

"Dean," he moans against Dean’s skin. Dean’s only able to respond by pushing himself against him. Cas takes the hint and starts to move. Slow at first, each drag of his cock against Dean’s rim setting the omega’s body on fire.

His rhythm gets faster, his thrusts harder as he starts losing control and Dean loves it. He loves that he can make him feel like that, he loves being wanted by his Alpha, he loves being held, being filled. He throws his head back, baring his throat for a bite that doesn’t come. Instead, Cas wraps his hand around Dean’s cock and strokes him quickly. Dean’s arms give up under the onslaught of sensation and he drops on his face, ass high in the air for Castiel’s taking. The alpha adjusts his stance and keeps moving, his hips hitting Dean’s ass mercilessly. The change of angle makes Cas’ cock drag over Dean’s prostate and Dean basically sobs into the pillows.

When he feels Castiel’s knot catching at his rim it’s the last straw. He comes crying out Cas’ name. He feels his ass clenching around Cas’ cock and his knot swelling inside him before Cas lets out a heavy sigh and comes, his body shaking on top of Dean.

They roll on their sides, still connected by Cas’ knot. Dean tries to get his breathing under control but it’s hard when Cas pulls him impossibly close, trapping him in the warm cocoon of his arms, his cock twitches inside Dean and gives a last weak spurt of come. Dean moans and finds Cas’ hands so he can intertwine their fingers. He feels soft lips on the side of his neck and no, his heart isn’t going to calm down anytime soon.

"Dean, are you okay? Didn’t I hurt you?"

Dean huffs a soft laugh. "I’m okay, I’m awesome."

Cas rubs his cheeks against Dean’s. "So you don’t regret it?"

Feeling a pang of pain in his chest, Dean cranes his neck so he can catch a glimpse of Cas’ face. "Do you?"

"Of course not! I’m so lucky that we’re compatible, that you want me." The emotion in Cas’ voice makes a swarm of butterflies take off in Dean’s stomach.

"I always wanted you. I was so scared when I presented as omega."

"But why? Was it so unbelievable that I’d be an alpha? I wasn’t at all surprised that you presented as an omega."

"You weren’t?"

"No, Dean. You act all tough but you’re the gentlest person I know."

Dean thinks about it for a moment, rubbing soothing circles with the pad of his thumb against the back of Cas’ hand.

"And you are the most headstrong and brave person I know. I shouldn’t have doubted us."

Cas’ laugher tickles the back of Dean’s neck.

"We’re made for each other," Cas whispers.

"Yes, we are." Dean squeezes around Cas’ knot making his Alpha growl.

 


	12. Malfunction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous prompt: “Dean, my vessel is malfunctioning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon compliant, first time, friends to lovers, masturbation, phone sex
> 
> Originally posted [here](https://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/184832902083/if-you-feel-it-maybe-dean-my-vessel-is)

 "Dean, I think my vessel is malfunctioning," Castiel says into the phone.

"What? What’s going on?" Dean asks, agitated. He knew it was a bad idea letting Cas go on a single hunt in his state. His grace has been drained and he’s not really human yet, but he doesn’t have all his angelic mojo either. Dean shouldn’t have let him go, he should have insisted on him staying in the bunker.

"My penis is erect."

Dean blinks into his coffee mug. He thought he was awake but he must be still dreaming because there’s no way in hell Castiel has just said what Dean heard.

"I know it is its natural function, but I am not sexually aroused. I just woke up and it was erect. I don’t think it’s supposed to do that without sexual stimulation."

Dean huffs out a laugh. He’s still mortified, but at the same time, he’s relieved. At least Cas isn’t actually hurt.

"It’s just a morning wood, Cas. It happens."

"Has it happen to you?" Cas asks with doubt in his voice and Dean doesn’t need to see him to know he’s squinting.

"Yeah, Cas. Many times. It’s nothing to worry about."

"But what do I do about it?"

Dean pinches the bridge of his nose. When did his life become this particular shade of absurd?

"It will pass. You can take a cold shower to make it quicker."

"That doesn’t sound pleasant," Cas answers. He’s been such a princess ever since he started to have more human sensations. He hates cold and his nose is really sensitive so he sniffs everything and he will groan and moan when he has to sleep on a hard mattress or under scratchy blankets. Just the thought of Cas’ grumpy face makes Dean smile.

"Well, you can also-" Dean stops himself. He can’t say that. No, he’s not going to say that to his angelic best friend.

"I can what, Dean? Is there a more pleasant way to get rid of it?"

Dean feels the heat rising into his cheeks. He’s desperately trying not to imagine Cas with a boner.

"You can... touch it? Make yourself, uh, release?"

"You mean masturbate?"

Dean lets his forehead hit the table.

"Yeah, Cas, I mean masturbation. Get yourself off. You’ll get rid of your morning wood and have some new pleasant experience as a bonus."

"Hm."

"Alright, I’m gonna leave you to that," Dean says ready to hang up, but Cas stops him.

"Wait, Dean, how do I do that?"

"What?"

"I’ve never done that before, Dean," he sounds exasperated. "I know people do it, but I usually try not to watch them."

Dean sighs remembering the one time Cas entered his room without knocking and caught Dean with his hand on his cock.

"Alright, alright. Just wrap your hand around it? Not too loose, you need to find how tight you like it. Then move your hand up and down." He can’t believe this is really happening.

There’s a little disgruntled sound on the other end of the line. "Dean, it isn’t pleasant."

"What? You are doing it _now?"_

"You told me to-"

"Yes, but, you can’t-"

"Oh, I see. It is not customary to talk about those things with other people."

"Not really, not with your friends."

"Who then?"

"Your... um... usually you only do this with your... lover?"

"Oh, I see." There’s a moment of silence. Dean should take advantage of it and find a way out of this awkward situation, but he seems frozen with his hand gripping the phone tightly and pressing it to his ear.

"I guess this isn’t a usual situation," Cas says very softly.

Dean closes his eyes. "No, it isn’t."

"So, will you help me, Dean?"

Dean swallows thickly. _Don’t imagine him, don’t imagine him._

"What’s wrong?"

"It just... there’s too much friction, I don’t like it."

Dean gives up. He’s going to go with the flow and recover from the consequences later.

"Spit into your palm. Get your cock wet. It will feel better."

He actually hears Cas spitting. His own cock gives an interested twitch.

"Hm... Dean, that’s better. Oh."

Dean clenches his teeth. It’s impossible to not imagine Cas jerking off and Dean’s getting hard himself. This is the last chance to end this or he’ll be in too deep.

"Okay, Cas, I think you’re good now. Enjoy the ride. I’ll call you later today."

"Wait, Dean

Dean swallows back a moan at the needy undertone in Cas’ husky voice.

"What now?" he whispers.

"I think your voice is helping."

Dean’s heart skips a beat. "Cas-" he breathes out.

"Yes, Dean. Oh, this is good."

And that’s it. Dean is fully erect in his pants and his lower brain is getting in charge.

"Don’t rush it, Cas. Make it last. It will be better in the end."

"Alright, alright, Dean." His breathing is labored, his voice even huskier than usual. Dean palms himself through his jeans.

"Use your other hand to play with your balls," Dean suggests mentally convincing himself he’s only doing this to help his friend enjoy his first masturbatory experience.

He gets a long pleased hum as a response and can’t hold back anymore. He opens his zipper and whips his cock out.

"Do you like it?" he asks because he needs to hear Castiel’s breathy voice again.

"Yeah," Cas downright moans. Dean throws his head back, jerking his cock frantically.

 "I see why people spend so much time doing this." 

Dean chuckles. He takes his own advice and spits into his palm.

"What was that?"

Dean freezes with his wet hand on his cock. "I, ugh, it was-"

"Dean, are you masturbating too?" There’s no shaming in his tone, just a surprise, and something Dean deciphers as fascination. He bites his lip and nods. Then he realizes Cas can’t see that.

"Yeah." It must be barely audible. The moan on the other end is loud, though.

"Dean, did you get erect while talking to me about masturbating?" The way he says it makes Dean believe he actually enjoys the idea pretty much.

"Yeah. It happens." He admits and starts stroking himself slowly.

"Did you... oh, did you imagine me doing it? Is that what got you hard?"

Dean doesn’t reply. He can’t. The words are stuck in his throat. He can barely breathe. And he’s so hard it’s almost painful.

"Because I do that, I... I imagine you and it... oh, Dean, it makes me harder I... Dean, my cock is leaking." The last part is said with a bit of concern.

"It’s okay, babe," Dean hears himself saying like his own voice is coming from far away. "Keep going, Cas, keep going."

"Dean!" Cas moans and Dean has to bite his lip to the point of pain to avoid coming too soon. "Dean, say something. Say you are enjoying this too."

"Yeah, Cas, I like this. I like you coming from hearing my voice."

"Yes, I’m... Dean, I’m gonna..."

"Let go, babe, come for me."

The sounds Cas makes and the mental image that paints of him spilling over his fingers, tip Dean over the edge.

He shakes with the strength of the orgasm, gasping for breath, riding the waves of pleasure. He’s vaguely aware of the sounds he makes, but he has no capacity to care.

Then there’s silence on both ends except for their heavy breaths rattling through the speakers.

"Dean?"

"I’m here," he says dumbly.

"It was wonderful, Dean, thank you."

"Yeah, uhm, Cas... I think we-" he trails off. He doesn’t have the strength to say it even though he knows he should. He should tell Cas they should forget about this, never talk about it, never let anything like that happen again.

"I wish we could do that again," Cas says very softly. Dean’s heart is aching. "I wish I could actually see you. I wish I could touch you like that, be touched by you like that."

"Cas," Dean sighs squeezing his eyes shut.

"I know it would require us becoming lovers and you make it clear you don’t want that-"

The words are like a cold shower waking Dean up from the mushy dream he was floating in. "What? How did I make myself clear about that?"

"You said it on many occasions that you are only sexually interested in women."

"I... um..."

"And besides that, you made it clear you are not looking for a relationship."

"Look, Cas, I don’t know what exactly I have said, but... sometimes I say things, because-" he has to take a deep breath to gather courage. His voice is still unsteady when he continues. "Sometimes I say things that aren’t really true because I want to hide the truth because... because it-"

"Because it makes you vulnerable?"

"Yeah, Cas, that’s it."

"Dean, I wish you could let yourself be vulnerable around me. I wish you trusted me. I would never hurt you."

"I do," Dean whispers after a pause.

Castiel doesn’t say anything, Dean suspects he’s giving him space. He takes it gladly because he needs a moment to get himself together.

His heart is still beating frantically and he feels lightheaded when he finally breaks the silence.

"I want that too, Cas. I want to touch you. Hell, I’ve been dreaming about touching you for so long, I imagined how you’d sound when you-" he cuts himself off and hears a silent laugh on the other end. "I also want to be close to you. Emotionally. I mean... I think we are already, we just..."

"We just didn’t let it exceed friendship."

Dean smiles at how perfectly Cas finishes his sentences. "Yeah. But I think by having phone sex we already took the step."

They both laugh at that. It’s small and soft and intimate.

"So you want to... take me as your lover?"

"Damn, Cas, why do you have to make it sound so weird?"

"I’m sorry, Dean, why-"

"But yeah, Cas, I want to be your boyfriend, partner, lover, whatever. I wanna be with you _that way."_

He can practically hear the smile in Castiel’s voice and it makes his heart melt.

"I’m really looking forward to being done with this case so I can come home to you."

"Yeah, me too, Cas," Dean grins. 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HS!AU in which Dean and Cas experiment with their sexuality (friends to friends with benefits to lovers)

"Hey, it’s okay," Dean says when Cas pushes him away. He slips off the bed and holds his hands up in a placating gesture.

He watches as Cas, cheeks red with shame, scrambles away towards the headboard and curls on himself, arms wrapped around his knees, hiding the boner that has just brushed against Dean’s thigh. 

He’s not looking at Dean when he mutters: "I’m sorry. I...I get if you want to leave now."

"I said it’s okay," Dean says keeping his voice as soft as he can. He walks toward the end of the bed Cas is occupying. "Happens to me all the time."

Cas peeks up to him with wide eyes. His fluffy hair has fallen into his forehead and Dean fights back the urge to push it away.

"But I’m-"

"Gay? Yeah, I know. I don’t mind."

Cas gapes at him. Dean takes the risk and sits down on the edge of the bed, almost touching Cas’ legs. Cas doesn’t withdraw which Dean takes as a good sign.

"Are you?" Cas asks after a moment, his voice barely audible.

Dean shrugs. "I don’t know. I only ever was with girls, but I think some guys are hot." He lets his eyes fly over Cas’ body. "I often think about how it would feel with a boy."

Castiel’s blush deepens but his grip on himself loosens.

"What did you do with them? With girls?"

Dean tilts his head before he starts to list it. "Kissing, making out, hand jobs, blow jobs, eating pussy."

Cas frowns a little, he’s worrying his lower lip with his teeth. Something he does when he’s deep in thoughts which is good because it means he doesn’t notice Dean is watching him.

"What about you? What have you done? With boys." Dean asks and feels his heart give a hard thud against his breastbone. He tells it to shut up.

Cas blinks at him. "I’ve never even kissed anyone."

Dean feels a strange mix of relief and pity. "Is it because you’re gay?"

"I’m not exactly outgoing, Dean," Cas says in an outburst of defensiveness. "It would be hard for me to find a girlfriend. It’s impossible to find a boyfriend. I don’t even know about anybody else at our school who’s into guys." 

"You do now," Dean replies quietly. His annoying heart keeps picking up pace.

There’s a moment of charged silence. Cas is the one to break it. "You mean you would-"

"I told you I’m curious what it feels like," Dean says and shifts closer, his shoulder hits Cas’ knee. "I get it if you don’t want to. Or if you’re not turned on by me, but-" he looks where’s Cas hiding the boner that started this whole situation, "it doesn’t seem like the case."

"Dean," Cas growls, his voice dropping impossibly low. "What even are you offering?"

Dean shrugs noncommittally. "What do you want?"

"What are you the most curious about?" Cas asks and his voice shivers a little.

Dean takes a deep breath. "A blowjob?" His own words ring in his ears, but it’s too late to stop this. He’s been thinking about this ever since he met Castiel, more since he learned that Cas was gay.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. But only if you want it too."

"Dean, I got hard from wrestling with you for the remote, of course, I want you to give me a blowjob."

They both laugh and the atmosphere lightens. Cas finally uncurls. He straightens his legs and lets Dean take place between them.

"Are you nervous?" he asks when Dean pulls down his sweats and just stares at the bulge in his briefs. Dean shakes his head.

"Not as much as I thought I would be. You?"

"Like hell."

They smile at each other. Then Cas lifts his hips and pushes his underwear down. He’s fully hard now, his cock curling up towards his stomach, the tip is wet.

"Fuck," Dean breathes out before he wraps his hand around it. 

"Dean!" Cas gasps. "Dean, I’m afraid I´m not gonna last very long."

"It’s okay," Dean murmurs, but he’s barely registering his words. He’s fascinated by the hot flesh in his hand. He moves his hand up, runs his thumb under the head. Cas moans. Dean’s own cock, trapped in his jeans, twitches in agreement.

"It’s different than mine."

"Yeah, bigger, I know."

Dean snorts and squeezes a little. Cas gasps.

"Don’t provoke a guy who’s holding your cock."

"Alright," Cas breathes out. "Look, Dean, I get if you changed your mind, but you have to do something or I’m gonna go crazy."

"Yeah, sorry, sorry. I got lost in thought."

It takes him a moment to find the right position that wouldn’t put too much strain on his back. He lowers himself and licks his lips. He can feel Castiel’s eyes on him.

He takes the head of Castiel’s cock into his mouth.

The noise Cas makes sounds almost pained. Dean pulls off and looks at him.

"You okay?"

Cas’ head is thrown back against the headboard. He shakes it.

"Should I stop?"

Cas shakes his head again.

Dean smiles before taking him back in. He goes slow, exploring what feels good for Cas and isn’t uncomfortable for him. He uses his own experience on the receiving side and Cas’ moans as guidance.

He manages to get a decent control and synchronization of the movement of his head, his hand, and his tongue and he sets up an easy rhythm. He feels Cas’ thigh trembling under his free hand. He chances a peek up and the sight almost makes him come in his pants. Cas looks utterly ruined. He’s biting down on his wrist to muffle his moans, his other hand is under his shirt probably pinching his own nipple.

Dean closes his eyes and goes on faster. There’s saliva running down his chin and bitter taste in his mouth and his jaw and neck are starting to ache but he doesn’t care.

Cas’ hand comes down to rake through Dean’s hair, but he doesn’t tug, doesn’t push Dean down.

"Dean, I’m... I’m gonna-" he warns.

Dean pulls off and wipes his lips with the back of his hand. He takes the moment to adjust himself in his pants and presses down a little at his bulge.

"It’s okay, Cas. I want it." With that, he dives back in.

Cas’ hips lift off the bed when he comes, his cock pushing deeper into Dean’s mouth, deeper than he’s ready for. He chokes a little and pulls off. The first spurt of Cas’ come hits his tongue, the other his chin and neck.

"Sorry, fuck, Dean, I’m sorry," Cas gasps out. He’s shaking. His cock gives a last weak twitch against his stomach.

Dean wipes his chin and neck with his t-shirt.

"Well, that was disgusting." He grins when he sees Cas’ guilty expression, "but so fucking worth it."

Cas squints at him. "Worth it?"

"Yeah, I-" liked what it did to you, liked feeling your pleasure. "I liked it. Just not a fan of the taste."

Cas hesitates for a second, then he reaches for the back of Dean’s neck. "Let me-" he pulls Dean closer and before Dean can realize what he’s doing, Cas is licking into his mouth.

Dean’s not sure if Cas lied when he said he hadn’t kissed anybody, but he doesn’t care. He likes the kiss. He likes it so much that his cock starts to beg him for attention again. He moans into Cas’ mouth when his crotch brushes against Cas’ thigh. He tries to pull away, but Cas holds him still with surprising strength.

It takes a little fumbling before Cas opens Dean’s jeans but then his hand slips inside.

"Cas," Dean whimpers against Cas’ lips.

"Shh, come on," Cas hushes him and keeps stroking him a little clumsily. Dean pushes into Cas’ hand and Cas kisses him again.

It’s good. So good it only takes Dean a few minutes to come. Cas holds him through it.

"You’re borrowing a clean one," he says as he wipes his hand on Dean’s shirt.

Dean chuckles breathlessly and pulls the t-shirt over his head before dropping it on the floor. Cas’ arms immediately wrap around him, his hot hands sliding over the muscles of Dean’s back. Dean lets it happen, basking in the fuzzy feeling. He kisses Cas lazily enjoying the fact he’s allowed to.

"So how was it?" Cas asks, "with a boy?"

"Fucking amazing," Dean grins. Cas grins back at him, both hands running through the short hair at the back of Dean’s head, scratching lightly.

"Next time we do it the other way round," Cas promises, then freezes. "If you want there to be next time," he stutters.

"Give me twenty minutes," Dean winks at him. Cas punches his shoulder.

* * *

 

"Evans or Hemsworth?"

Castiel pauses the movie and looks away from the laptop. "What?"

Cas hates when people talk while watching movies. Dean does it all the time. Castiel got used to it. He thinks he’d get used to worse things because of Dean.

"Who do you find hotter? Chris Evans or Chris Hemsworth?" Dean repeats his question while munching on chips.

"Aren’t they both a little old for you?"

Dean rolls his eyes and looks at Cas for the first time. "Come on, just humor me."

Cas squints his eyes and looks at the screen.

"Evans. I guess. You?"

Dean cocks his head. A strange look flies over his eyes. "Sebastian Stan," he says eventually.

"Hm, the one with the metal arm. I kinda expected you to go for the guy with a hammer. I know about your love for blunt instruments."

"Hey!" Dean pokes at Castiel’s ribs. Cas tries to slap his hand away, but it’s futile. Since the moment Dean learned Cas is ticklish, he’s been insufferable.

"Are you trying to make me hard again?" Cas huffs out through tears of laughter as Dean straddles him.

Cas feels him freeze and curses himself for ruining the moment, but Dean catches him by surprise by leaning down. "What if I am?"

Castiel blinks at him, he feels breathless and it has nothing to do with the tickling.

"There are better ways to do that," he says, his voice dropping low and surprising both of them.

Dean licks his lips, Castiel watches it. "Yeah?" Dean breathes out leaning even closer. "Like what?"

Castiel catches his lips. Dean moans a little but he opens his mouth immediately, his tongue meeting Castiel’s.

Cas grabs Dean’s hips and almost loses his mind when Dean gets it as a prompt to move them. Their groins rub together, sending a rush of heat through Castiel’s body.

"Dean," he groans.

"Tell me you want this," Dean whispers. His eyes are wide, almost desperate. Castiel doesn’t reply out loud, he just kisses Dean again, bucking his own hips up to meet him.

Dean’s hands slide under Castiel’s t-shirt, exploring naked skin. They have to stop kissing to pull their shirts off but it’s totally worth it.

Of course, Cas has seen Dean shirtless, he’s even seen him naked, but he never felt allowed to look. Now when he’s even allowed to touch, he’s gonna make the most of it.

The way Dean arches his back as Cas slides his hands up his spine is glorious. Dean with his lips red and cheeks flushed is a sight for gods.

If Castiel was alone, he’d be already jerking his cock frantically. He doesn’t feel the need to rush when he has Dean in his arms. He wants to cherish every minute of it because he can’t be sure he’s ever getting more.

Dean, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to feel the same way. He’s pressing himself closer against Cas, grinding harder and faster down on him, huffing out little grunts.

"More," he grunts. "More," it sounds like a plea and like an order at the same time and it makes Cas feel heady. Dean fumbles with the zipper of Cas’ pants, his hand brushing against Cas’ erection.

"Wait, wait," Cas mutters and handles the zipper for him while Dean gets his own pants open.

Castiel tries to stay calm as he watches Dean get his hard cock out. He’s touched him before, this shouldn‘t feel so overwhelming, but it does.

Dean must read his face wrong because he stops stroking himself and frowns down at Cas. "Do you want to stop? It’s okay if-"

"No, no, I want it, I just-"

There’s a soft smile on Dean’s lips, the kind that Cas saw on him only a few times. "It’s okay, I get it," he whispers just before he kisses Cas softly.

He rubs Castiel’s cock through his underwear before pulling it out. Cas gasps and pushes into Dean’s hand. It feels so much better than doing it himself.

It’s a bit awkward then as they try to jerk each other off, they are wiggling against each other, the both of them too excited to find a rhythm.

It’s Dean who bites down on Cas’ lip and makes him stop. "Wait, wait, what about... let’s just-"

He shifts a little and their hard cocks, wet with precome, slide against each other.

Cas throws his head back with a silent cry. Dean moves his hips, hand wrapped loosely around both of them.

"Fuck," he grunts next to Castiel’s ear. "Fuck, Cas, I love this."

Cas reaches down, his hand meeting Dean’s, fingers overlapping. He meets Dean’s thrusts with his own while holding onto his neck.

After the frantic start, it turns slow, the pleasure building up gradually. Cas is shaking as he gets closer, his abs are spasming. Dean’s thighs are shaking too as Cas strokes them.

They come nearly in sync, making a mess of their bellies and chests. They laugh a little and kiss a lot until it starts to feel uncomfortable. Dean hands Cas a kleenex box while he cleans himself.

They put their shirts back on and Dean presses play on the abandoned laptop that didn’t fall of the bed by sheer luck.

They watch the movie, Dean doesn’t interrupt again. They’re sitting closer to each other than before, their shoulders and knees pressed together, hands brushing occasionally between them.

* * *

 

They are sitting in the Winchesters’ backyard. Dean is looking through the canopy of leaves above his head.

"I slept with Lisa Braeden," he says.

There’s a long pause, before Cas asks, voice husky: "How was it?"

Dean shrugs. "Good, a little awkward, you know, it was first time. But it felt good."

He doesn’t dare to look Cas in the face.

"So is she... is she your girlfriend now?"

"Nah," Dean huffs. "I mean, she’d like to but I... I don’t feel like that." He takes a deep breath to gather courage before he continues. "I want someone I feel good with all the time not just when we make out. I want someone I can tell everything, someone I care about. Someone like you." He finally turns toward Cas who’s staring at him with wide eyes and lips slightly parted.

Dean’s blood freezes in his veins as he watches Castiel’s expression darken, his brows drawn together into a frown.

"You just told me you fucked a girl and now what? Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?" he sounds so angry Dean actually flinches away before gathering last drops of courage and squaring his shoulders.

"Yeah, because I had to try... I had to convince myself that what I feel is real, I wanted to be certain. Come on, don’t like as if I cheated on you, you have no right for that yet!"

Cas lets out an exasperated sigh and averts his eyes. Dean leans in to force himself into his field of vision.

"Cas, listen. The things we did... they felt so much better than anything I ever did with a girl. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because you’re a guy. It‘s because you’re...you."

Cas’ eyes flinch to him, then away and back to Dean’s face. "You mean it?"

"Hell yeah, I mean it. Please, Cas, tell me you feel the same. Tell me it wasn’t just experimenting with a friend."

Castiel squeezes his eyes shut and with an exhale lets his head drop on Dean’s shoulder.

"Of course not. I mean... I thought it was just that for you so I tried not to let myself feel anything but..."

Dean’s hand buries itself in Castiel’s hair. There’s a smile audible in his voice. "But you couldn’t."

Cas huffs again. "I couldn’t." He lifts his head. Their faces are mere inches from each other, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. It would take just the smallest movement and their lips would meet, but they spare a whole minute to just look into each other‘s eyes.

"So, what do you say? Boyfriends?" Dean breaks the charged silence.

"Are you sure? People at school will-"

"I don’t give a damn about people at school. I don’t give a damn about anyone. The only one who matters is you."

Not able to hold back any second now, Cas leans in and kisses him hard.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”  
> Office!AU, strong dom!Cas undertones, semi-public sex, established relationship, Dean in panties
> 
> Originally on [tumblr](https://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/185754779748/i-should-be-posting-something-longer-but-i-m-too)

Dean Smith is bent over his boss’ desk, showing off his ass in his tight dress pants, as he pretends to be looking for a paper clip. He’s not surprised by the slap landing on his asscheek, but the sting of it surprises him a little. He looks over his shoulder to see what he’s been hit with. It’s a plastic ruler. Castiel is still holding it in his hands, lightly slapping his left palm.

"I’m quite sure I explicitly told you not to tease me."

Dean turns around, propping his ass on the edge of the desk. He gives his boss a smug smirk. "I was not."

"If you’re trying to provoke me to spank you for lying, it’s not working."

Dean pouts. "Come on, Cas, I didn’t get off in days," he places his hands on Castiel’s shoulders trying to pull him closer. "This stupid case-"

"Isn’t over yet."

"I know, but we both deserve a break. We’re working so hard. Just a little distraction to freshen our minds."

"I said no, Dean. I hate distractions."

Dean sighs and bows his head. "I know, I just really miss you."

Castiel’s expression softens a little. He brushes his knuckles down Dean’s cheek. "But I’m here and I’m going to make it up for you once it’s over."

Dean turns his head, nuzzling at Castiel’s palm. He steps closer. "Sir, please, give me something. I’m hard just looking at you."

"Are you?" Castiel growls and pushes his hand between Dean’s legs. Dean gasps but grinds against his palm. He’s not actually hard, but getting there. He presses his lips to the side of Castiel’s neck and hisses when Castiel’s free hand tugs at his hair. He’s afraid Castiel will push him away but he kisses him instead, hard and filthy, leaving Dean gasping for breath when he pulls away. He squeezes Dean’s now fully hard cock through his pants. "How much do you wanna come?" he whispers into Dean’s ear.

"Cas, please, sir," Dean moans and tries to chase Castiel’s lips. Castiel steps away and sits down on his chair, leaning back comfortably, legs spread.

“The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh,” he says casually, grabbing his phone from the desk.

Dean stares at him wide-eyed. 

"Take it or leave it," Castiel adds, looking at the screen.

Dean hesitates a little before walking to the door and locking it. He opens his fly on his way back and pulls his pants down when he’s at the desk. Castiel’s eyes flick up to him, taking in the light blue lace straining over Dean’s cock. He doesn’t say anything, but Dean doesn’t miss the hungry spark in his eyes. He smiles and steps closer. He moves slowly, deliberately as he spreads his legs to straddle Castiel’s left thigh. Castiel watches him, his free hand grabs Dean’s hip automatically. His thumb brushes over the lace. Dean lets out a sigh as he seats himself, the lace rubbing against his sensitive skin.

He leans in to kiss Castiel, but his boss turns away. Dean stares in shock as Castiel dials a number of one of his business partners and puts the phone to his ear. He greets the man on the other end of the line like there’s nothing unusual about having your panties-wearing assistant perched on your thigh during a business phone call. When Dean doesn’t move, Castiel turns to him and raises an eyebrow.

Dean bites his lower lip, his eyes darting to the phone in Castiel’s hand. A shiver runs through his body, the weird excitement that comes with the risk of being exposed, the reason why Dean loves to be fucked in his boss’ office during work hours.

He braces one hand on Castiel’s shoulder and closes his eyes before he moves his hips, grinding down on Castiel’s leg. A soft moan leaves his lips and he snaps his eyes open. What if the man on the other end can hear him? He searches Castiel’s face for a silent reprimand but all he finds is an amused spark in his eyes. Dean takes it as encouragement and starts to hump Castiel’s leg in earnest.

He likes the friction, he expected that after days of abstaining because they were too busy with the case, it would be enough for him to come, but it’s not. He needs more, he needs the final push. The chair is creaking and his muscles are starting to burn with exertion. He might have to give up.

He’s not paying attention to what Castiel is talking about on the phone, but it startles him a little when he raises his voice. "Yes, please, go check that out. I’ll wait."

Dean looks up to see Castiel pulling his phone from his ear. He touches the screen and puts the phone down on the desk.

Dean doesn’t even realize he stopped moving before Castiel grabs the back of his neck and kisses him, using his hand on Dean’s hip to urge him to move again.

Dean moans into the kiss, pleasure surging up in him again. He presses his leaking cock harder against Castiel’s leg.

"Alright, I’m back," comes from the speaker of Castiel’s phone. Dean yelps in surprise. Castiel muffles the sound by pushing two fingers into Dean’s mouth. Dean sucks obediently as if it was Castiel cock and enjoys the dark look in Castiel’s eyes.

"Great, could you please read me the second paragraph?" he says, voice incredibly calm, eyes fixed on Dean. 

As the man on the phone reads, Castiel’s left hand moves from Dean’s hips, pushing under the waistband at the back. His middle finger slides down the crease of Dean’s ass and brushes over his hole. Dean squeezes his eyes shut, moaning around the fingers in his mouth and speeds up his grinding. Cas’ finger pushes just the slightest bit in and the sting of it pushes Dean over the edge. He trashes on his perch, spoiling his panties. Cas’ fingers slip of his mouth to be swutched for his palm pressed against Dean’s lips as he throws his head back and moans.

When it washes away, he collapses a little, his head falling to rest on Castiel’s shoulder.

"I see where the problem is. I’ll send you a re-worked version tomorrow. Thank you for your assistance." He hears Castiel saying over the blood rushing in his ears.

The man says his goodbyes and the call ends with a ping.

Castiel runs his hand through Dean’s hair. "Are you okay?" he asks softly.

"Yeah, yeah, I’m great," Dean sighs and presses a soft kiss to Castiel’s jaw.

"You were right," Castiel admits. "I needed this."

Dean grins and leans in to kiss Castiel properly. 

He looks down on his softening cock in his wet panties and flinches. "Oh my god, I ruined your pants, I’m so sorry!" he cries out trying to get up. To his surprise, Castiel lets out a soft laugh and only pulls him closer.

"It’s okay. That’s why I keep spares in the office," he says before grabbing the back of Dean’s head and guiding him in for a kiss. Dean relaxes into it wrapping his arms around Castiel’s shoulders. He shifts a little, his position growing uncomfortable, and brushes against the bulge in Castiel’s pants. It makes him grin against Castiel’s lips. The knowledge that Castiel was affected despite his cold facade brings up a warm feeling in Dean’s chest. Dean breaks the kiss to press his palm to Castiel’s erection.

"And what are we going to do about this, sir?"

There’s the dangerous spark in Castiel’s eyes that makes his opponents shiver. It makes Dean shiver too but for an entirely different reason.

"I think you should get on your knees and suck me off."

Dean grins and slips off Cas’ thigh to kneel between his spread legs. He nuzzles against Castiel’s cock, his mouth already watering. He looks up at the sound of Castiel’s voice. "But I need to make another call." 

  

 

 


	15. Dragon Rider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only the chosen are born lacking legs, and since the day I was born I’ve been groomed for my future as a dragon rider, my body uniquely able to sit in the only type of harnesses that dragons are willing to wear. Today I came of age, so it’s time to get started on my actual training and meet my dragon for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also on [tumblr](https://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/post/188522181028/only-the-chosen-are-born-lacking-legs-and-since)

Dean’s stomach is rumbling and his mouth is as dry as parchment. He would kill for a gulp of water, but he knows he must persist. Everything in his life has led to this moment. He can’t ruin it.

It hasn’t always been easy. Being born without legs, he adapted quicker than if he lost them due to injury. Besides the whole town treats the Marked ones like royalty. But when Dean saw his brother running around, when he saw his peers dancing at the solstice festival, he wished...

But he was born without legs for a reason. Only people like him can bond with dragons. Only people like him are able to sit in the only harness the dragons accept. Dean’s harness is laying next to him. His father gave it to him for his birthday just this morning. It’s made of the finest leather, the buckles are brass and the whole thing is beautifully decorated with swirls and knots. John was tearing up with pride when he presented it to Dean. Having a Dragon Rider for a son is a great pride.

But Dean isn’t a Dragon Rider. Not yet.

He went through years of training and he just reached the right age, but the hardest part is still awaiting.

He has to wait here, on the top of a cliff a few miles away from the town. He has to wait until his dragon comes to him. He’s not allowed to eat or drink and if he falls asleep, he might miss his dragon.

It can take days. Dean knows that from the stories other riders told him. Some of them reported food and drinks magically appearing in front of them, tempting them so they would fail. Others were offered gold and gems if they gave up.

So far, it’s been just Dean and the wind. The sun has set some time ago and he’s been here since noon. His body is getting stiff.

The full moon is hanging low in the sky so at least he isn’t sitting here in darkness.

He can hear the screeches of the untamed dragons down below him, but he can’t see them. He prays for one of them to find him worthy.

He can’t fail, he can’t fail. Damn, he’s hungry.

"Hello," a deep voice says behind him and makes Dean flinch with surprise.

Dean turns to see a man approaching. He’s tall and well built. His hair is dark and tousled. He’s wearing a hooded cape from very thin material and loose pants. He must be cold. Dean’s huddled in a fur coat and the harsh wind still bites at his cheeks. The stranger doesn’t seem to be bothered by the cold.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Dean blurts out when he realizes he didn’t reply for an impolite amount of time.

"I bought you some food," the stranger says as he walks closer. His feet are bare. He sits next to Dean and holds up a tray full of the finest fruit, sweets and dried meat in front of him. Dean swallows the saliva gathering in his mouth at the sight.

"You’re not from the town, are you?"

The stranger shakes his head. He has the most striking features Dean has seen. His jaw is sharp and his cheekbones high, his nose is straight and lips full. What’s the most gorgeous are his eyes. They are shining blue in the pale light of the moon.

"I can’t eat or drink. I’m here waiting for a dragon to choose me to be their rider."

The man frowns. "How long do you have to starve?"

Dean shrugs. "As long as it takes."

"That’s cruel," the man says. "Well, I’ll put this away, then. I don’t want to torment you." He lays the tray on the ground out of Dean’s sight and throws the tail of his cape over it.

"Aren’t you cold?" Dean can’t help but ask, "I can give you my furs."

The man smiles and Dean feels something flutter in his chest. "Thank you, but I’m alright. I’m always running hot."

"What’s your name?" Dean asks, fascinated by the strange man.

"I’m Castiel."

"Castiel," Dean repeats, testing the shape of the name in his mouth. "I’m Dean."

Another dazzling smile. "Nice to meet you, Dean."

"Why did you come here, Castiel?"

"I saw you sitting here all alone. I thought you might want the company."

"I do.” Dean admits. “It’s nice of you. Though I’m not sure my dragon will come if you’re here," he adds with a frown, already regretting that he had to say it. He’s sick of being alone, but he has only one goal and he’ll do anything to reach it.

"I won’t be here for long," Castiel says, "let’s just talk for a bit."

Dean nods relieved that he can enjoy the pleasant company for at least a few moments.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Tell me about this ritual of yours. Why do you want a dragon to choose you?"

He really can’t be from here or anywhere near if he doesn’t know about Dragon Riders.

"I was born like this so I could ride a dragon-" Dean motions at the stumps where his legs should be, "-if no dragon chooses me I’d be just-" he trails off. He feels an urgent need to be honest with Castiel, but he never told anyone how he feels about this.

"You’d be what?" There’s innocent curiosity in his face.

"Just a useless cripple," Dean says on an exhale.

Castiel looks appalled by Dean’s words.

"Don’t talk of yourself like that! You are more than this... designation of yours as a Dragon Rider. Aren’t you passionate about anything else?"

"Well, I like carving," Dean mutters, "I’m not bad at it." He reaches into the deeps of his coat and produces the little wooden figurine he’s been carving some time before Cas came.

"You made this?" Castiel asks with his eyes wide. Dean nods. It’s not his greatest creation, but it’s pretty good. It’s a dragon curled around itself, sleeping. "May I?" Cas asks and when Dean nods, he takes it into his soft hands like it’s something precious and not just a carved piece of wood. He cradles it in his palms like it’s alive.

"It looks like a real dragon cub! I wouldn’t be surprised if it woke up."

Dean feels heat rising in his cheeks. "You’re exaggerating, it’s not that good."

"Oh no, it’s _very_ good, Dean. It’s excellent." He brushes the ridges on the dragon’s back with the pad of his thumb. A thought flicks through Dean’s mind that he’d love to be at the receiving end of such a caress.

"You can keep it if you want."

Cas’ wide eyes bury into him. "You mean it?" he asks in a tone that makes Dean realize he’s actually pretty young. He can’t be much older than Dean.

Dean gives him a soft smile. "Sure, it’s yours. For keeping me company."

Castiel makes a small happy sound at the back of his throat and wraps his hands around the tiny dragon. Then he leans close and presses a quick kiss to Dean’s cheek.

"Thank you, Dean."

"I-uh-you-you’re welcome," Dean stutters. The place where Cas kissed him is tingling and Dean’s blood is boiling in his veins.

"You see? You aren’t useless even without your dragon. You are a skilled carver."

"Thank you. But I still hope I will be chosen. It’s a great honor to be bonded with a dragon. A great calling to protect our town."

Castiel frowns. "Are you looking forward to fighting? I supposed it would be fulfilling to become a hero in a battle."

Dean mirrors Castiel’s frown.

"Not really. I mean, if there was a war, I would do everything to protect my people. But I hope it never happens. I don’t want to hurt anyone, even enemy soldiers. And I wouldn’t want my dragon to get hurt or-" A violent shudder runs through his body. "Losing your dragon must be the most horrible thing to happen to a rider."

Castiel hums. His shoulder brushes against Dean’s.

"How do you picture your dragon. What should they look like?"

Dean chuckles at that. "I don’t know. I don’t really care. All dragons are beautiful. Even the smallest one is stronger than dozens of men. I’ll be honored if _any_ dragon chooses me and I will cherish them."

Dean looks away from the clouds running over the moon that he’s been watching as he spoke and realizes Castiel’s eyes are fixed on him. His breath hitches a little when their eyes meet.

"You’re a nice person," Castiel says softly. "Kind and caring."

"And you are-" it’s impossible not to speak his mind around Castiel- "the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. Tell me something about you."

Castiel smiles sweetly and looks towards the horizon. "I come from a big family, have a lot of brothers and sisters. I’m destined to become a warrior, just like you, but I’d rather spend my time differently. I love to travel and explore. Search for new beautiful things." He turns back at Dean who’s rendered breathless.

"Cas."

"Dean," Castiel sighs and leans closer. Dean can feel his hot breath on his lips.

Dean places his hand on Castiel’s bare chest. It’s firm and hot.

He pushes him away gently.

"I’m sorry, Castiel. I swear I want to but-" he takes a deep breath, "I’m here to meet my dragon and that’s the only thing that matters."

"Alright," Castiel says.  Dean expects him to sound angry, but his voice is void of inflection. He gets up, his cape floating around him in the wind. Dean fights the urge to grab its hem to keep Cas from leaving him. His chest aches with the loss, but he’s also proud of himself for resisting.

Castiel looks at Dean over his shoulder and there’s a glint in his eyes Dean doesn't know how to understand.

Then he runs towards the cliff.

"NO!" Dean yells as he hurls himself over the edge. "Cas! No! No! Cas!" He cries out and crawls towards the edge.

There’s a whoosh of wind and then something huge eclipses the moon. Dean falls back on his ass and stares up with his mouth open. The dragon rises into the sky and makes a loop showing off the colossal length of his elegant body. It looks almost black, but its scales are glistening dark blue in the moonlight.

The dragon lands and Dean feels the ground shake under his feet. The dragon lowers himself on his belly and lays his huge head on his front paws. His eyes are huge and blue.

Slowly, Dean reaches out and places his hand against the rough scales on the dragon’s cheek. They are nearly as big as his palm.

"Cas?" he breathes out.

The dragon lets out a puff of hot air.

The shock and the relief overwhelm Dean suddenly. He presses himself against the dragon’s cheek and sobs. Fat tears run from under his lids as he presses them together.

His skin tingles and he smells a waft of air after a storm and then he’s being held by strong and very human arms.

Dean hugs Castiel back and nuzzles at his neck as his breathing slows down and his sobs subside.

When he finally feels calm enough, he pulls back so he can look into Castiel’s beautiful face.

"Cas, you... you’re a dragon?"

"Yes, Dean," Castiel says with a small smile, "sorry for the deception. I wanted to talk to you in my human form first."

"But why... how did nobody tell me dragons even had a human form?"

"It’s one of the secrets held among dragons and their riders."

"Does that... Does it mean you..."

Castiel’s soft hand cups Dean’s cheek. "Your soul is bright and your heart is pure, Dean. I choose you to be my rider. If you want to."

"Cas! Of course I do, I-" before he can think better of it, he leans in and presses a quick kiss to Castiel’s lips. Shocked by his own action, he pulls back, but Castiel’s hand that has moved to the back of his head keeps him still and Castiel kisses him back. His lips are soft and when Dean dares to flick his tongue out to taste them, they part to let him in.

Kissing Castiel makes Dean dizzy. It’s so wonderful he almost forgets that he’s not human. A gentle tug at his hair makes Dean break the kiss.

"Dean," Cas breathes against his wet lips. "You need to understand that the bond is like nothing else. It will change your life entirely. It’s unbreakable and it lasts for a lifetime."

"I want it," Dean says looking Castiel deep in the eyes. "I wanted it all my life, but now when I met you... please, Cas, tell me what I have to do."

Castiel’s dark lashes flutter as he drops his gaze and his cheeks color a little.

"To make the bond. We have to share our bodies as lovers do."

At first, Dean’s heart skips a beat. Then his head is flooded by the fantasy of Castiel with him, touching him, being inside him.

"Yes," Dean sighs, "yes, Castiel, I want that too."

Cas looks up, excitement clear on his face.

"Dean-" he kisses him again, hard and rushed like he’s afraid Dean will disappear or change his mind. Then the kiss softens, they find a balance between push and pull. Hands start to wander. Dean explores the planes of naked skin, hot under his palm despite being exposed to the wind. Castiel sweeps his thumbs gently over Dean’s jaw, his neck, the shells of his ears before he pushes him down on his discarded fur coat. Dean gasps a little. His cock stirs as he feels the weight of Castiel’s body on top of him.

He opens the golden clasp on Castiel’s cape and pushes it off his shoulders. Castiel kisses Dean’s neck as he pushes his hand under his shirt. "You’re beautiful, Dean, I don’t know how I haven’t told you yet."

"Please take me," Dean begs and Castiel makes a small desperate sound in the back of his throat before he kisses him. His hand presses against Dean’s half-hard cock before he pulls his pants down. Dean shivers when cold air touches bare skin, but Castiel’s touch makes him warm. He can feel Castiel’s own hardness pressed to his hip as Castiel strokes him.

Dean fumbles to unbuckle Castiel’s belt then pulls at his baggy pants. He feels relieved when he sees Castiel’s cock is entirely human, just a little bigger than what Dean considers average.

Castiel moans and thrusts into Dean’s palm when Dean touches him.

"Have you been with someone before?" Cas whispers, lips brushing against Dean’s ear and making goosebumps rise on the back of his neck.

"Not like this," Dean admits suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"Me neither. I don’t want to hurt you."

"I trust you."

There’s that small sound again. Like it’s all too much for Cas. Dean understands it fully. He’s shaking himself, not because he’s afraid, but because it’s all too big and all at once.

"Wait, I have-" Cas reaches into the leather pouch on his belt and produces a small glass vial. It contains dark fragrant oil.

With trembling hands and between reassuring kisses, they work together to spread the oil over Castiel’s cock and Dean’s entrance.

They are both desperate with want by the time Castiel presses the blunt head of his cock against Dean’s hole.

"Dean, are you sure?" he asks, voice deep and husky with lust.

"Yes," Dean says breathlessly.

His mouth falls open and his eyes fall shut when Castiel pushes in. Slowly, carefully. Dean holds on to his muscular shoulders and lets out a high pitched moan. Castiel stills and looks at him with concern.

"Dean. Am I hurting you?"

Dean shakes his head vehemently. The stretch is strange and uncomfortable, but the feeling of being filled, the fact that it’s Cas entering him, that it’s how their bond is formed - it’s good and absolutely worth it.

"Keep going," Dean begs. He lets his hands slide down Castiel’s back and grabs his firm asscheeks to pull him closer. With a groan, Castiel thrusts deeper just to pull back the slightest bit and push even deeper the next time.

There’s wind rustling in the branches, the screeches of dragons and crash of waves down below the cliff, but the only sounds Dean hears are the ones their bodies make when they meet in the most intimate way and their passionate moans.

Over Castiel’s shoulder, Dean can see stars above them. Castiel’s eyes shine as much as them.

Every touch of Castiel’s ignites Dean’s skin, each thrust of his hips makes him want more. The pleasure grows and fills every inch of his body until he feels like he can’t contain it anymore.

He cries out when he reaches the peak and sweet release washes over him. The sound echoes back. Castiel keeps rocking into him, whispering Dean’s name like a prayer. Then his breath hitches, he pushes deep into Dean’s willing body and tenses. Dean watches as ecstasy contorts Castiel’s face and feels blessed to be the one who helped him reach it.

Castiel collapses on top of Dean, warm and boneless, their bodies still connected, the proof of their passion wet between their bellies.

Castiel kisses Dean’s neck, his cheek, then finally his lips. Dean runs his hands through Castiel’s hair. He feels happy, happier than ever. He was preparing himself to meet his dragon all his life but in his wildest dreams, he didn’t imagine it being like this.

He used to wonder why Dragon Riders never took human lovers, now he understands.

Castiel pulls out and Dean winces at the burn and the odd feeling of wetness spilling out of him. It’s all forgotten when Castiel wraps them both in Dean’s furs and holds Dean close to his chest.

"How do you feel?" he asks eyes fixed on the starry sky.

"Like I was made for this."

Castiel smiles at him sweetly. "Of course you were." He kisses Dean’s temple. "Sleep now, my love, you need to be strong for your first ride."

Dean’s heart beats frantically at the idea of finally riding a dragon, _his dragon_ tomorrow, but his exhaustion eventually wins over his excitement and he falls asleep.

* * *

  


He wakes up wrapped in his furs, alone. Panic surges in his chest. Was it all just a dream? He opens his eyes and sees shiny dark blue scales. Castiel is curled around Dean’s makeshift bed, massive head resting on his tail. Warmth radiates off his body like he’s made of embers. He opens his big blue eyes that remind Dean of stars once again.

_Good morning, beloved._

Dean startles because Castiel’s voice doesn’t come from the dragon’s mouth. It just appears right inside Dean’s head.

"What... what is this? I can hear you? Is that another secret?"

The dragon’s anatomy doesn’t allow a smile, but Dean can _feel_ he’s smiling. 

_We can communicate without words. Yes. Very practical while flying._

Dean shakes his head in disbelief but he can’t fight back a grin.

_Eat your breakfast, then we fly._

Dean basically inhales the food Castiel brought him last night.

He manages to strap the harness on Castiel’s back as he was taught, then he heaves himself up.

"Wow," he breathes out as he takes a look around. He’s settled between two sharp ridges at the base of Castiel’s neck. Castiel’s wings are folded at his sides.

Dean fastens the numerous leather belts supposed to hold him in place even at high speed.

He tries if the connection works both ways.

 _I’m ready._ It’s weird trying to think something loud but it must work because Castiel straightens up. Dean grabs onto the ridge in front of him as the powerful muscles move under him.

Castiel walks slowly, to let Dean adjust. Then he runs. He runs towards the edge of the cliff just like he did last night in his human form.

An undignified squeal escapes Dean’s lips when they drop down towards the rocks and the sea under them.

Then Castiel spreads his wings, beats the air, and they soar up.

It’s the most exhilarating thing Dean’s ever experienced.

His stomach lurches at first and he gasps in fear, but then he feels calm spreading through him and he knows it’s just the same as when he hears Castiel’s words.

There’s no need for fear when Castiel is with him, he’s safe. He looks around then, at the landscape running fast under him, at the horizon and the sea. It looks wonderful from up above. Everything is small, insignificant compared to him and his Dragon. They can do anything together.

 _Let’s go to your town so you can introduce yourself as a true Dragon Rider_ Castiel suggests.

 _Not yet,_ Dean says, _I want to stay here a little longer. I want to keep you to myself for a while._

 _As you wish Dean,_ Castiel replies and dives down towards the sea.

  


 

 

 


End file.
